


The Grad Nite Incident

by PrecariousSauce



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: A Joke With Lore, Alternate Universe - High School, Canon-Atypical Swearing, Comedy, Gen, Horny Teenagers, Loving Parody, Mascot Harrassment, Multi, Recreational Drug Use, Teenagers Fighting, Underage Drinking, We're Going To Disneyland
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-10-26 19:30:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17752088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrecariousSauce/pseuds/PrecariousSauce
Summary: Sora's post-graduation Disneyland trip was supposed to be simple. It was supposed to be a celebration. It was supposed to befun. Nothingevergoes the way it's supposed to.Or; AU where the entire plot of the Kingdom Hearts series was actually just a Grad Nite gone horribly wrong.





	1. First Chapter Prologue – Owner of a Lonely Heart

**Author's Note:**

> For the uninitiated, Grad Nite is a thing where theme parks– but most notably Disneyland and/or Disneyworld depending on where you are– let recently-graduated high school seniors have the run of their parks from 9 PM to about 2 AM.
> 
> For the initiated, I actually did not attend my own high school's Grad Nite, so forgive me for inaccuracies made both out of ignorance and for narrative license.
> 
> For the teenagers in the audience, I've been out of touch with teens since I was one, so forgive me if I remain that way.
> 
> For people who live in Anaheim, California, I'm just sorry in general.

**0.** Most everyone placed the beginning of the Grad Nite Incident of 2019 at just that, Grad Nite. But as one of the three people at it’s center, Riku knows for a fact that the trouble started well before that. Nearly a year before, in fact.

Sora had been bouncing off the walls of his mom’s van as she drove him, Riku, and Kairi away from their last college visit of the Summer– All the walking around in the hot sun had only made him _more_ excited. Riku was as used to Sora’s boundless energy as he was ever going to be, and had kept his eyes all but closed as Sora chattered.

“Yup, seeing it in person _absolutely_ clinches it,” Sora had proclaimed, grin wide and bright, “We’re _definitely_ going there!”

Kairi had laughed and shoved Sora with her elbow. Ever since they were children they always rode like this: all three of them in the back seat, Sora on the left, Riku on the right, Kairi in the middle. According to his mother this was because the one time they’d had Sora in the middle Riku had gotten so jealous of Sora having all of Kairi’s attention that he’d taken a bottle of water and dumped it all over his head. Riku thinks his mother made it up, but he _was_ only seven when this was alleged to have happened. What he remembers from that time is as hazy as dreams.

“We still have to _apply,_ Doofus,” Kairi had remarked through a warm smile, “You _know_ how picky that school is, _and_ how much work your grades need.”

Sora had just leaned back in the seat, folding his arms behind his head like a pillow; “Yeah I know, but I can make it work! And I’m not worried about you guys, you’re _way_ smarter than me! We’re a shoe-in!”

Riku didn’t open his eyes any wider or move any part of him but his mouth as it had quirked up into a smirk; “So you’re gonna be studying _real hard_ from now on, huh?”

Sora had gasped in mock surprise; “You mean you need to _study_ to get _good grades?!_ How come no one ever _told me?!_ ”

The rest of the ride went much the same way, and Riku would never admit it, but in that moment he’d been certain that Sora would never get into that school. Sora was a great guy, kind and selfless and cheerful, but he didn’t have anything that would really make him stand out in the crop of college applicants. That was fine– the three of them had already agreed that they’d all apply to the same schools, and with their grades Kairi and Riku had the pick of the litter for all their backup choices.

Riku had been absolutely certain of that.

But then March rolled around.

Sora, Riku and Kairi had been sitting on the floor of Kairi’s bedroom. Sora and Kairi had large, stuffed-full envelopes from their dream college sitting in their laps. Riku had placed the pale, thin envelope he’d gotten from the school in the center of the floor.

Kairi bit her lip, avoiding Riku’s eyes. Sora had stared hard at the rejection letter for a few long minutes before turning a strained version of his usual sunny grin up at Riku.

“I mean, it’s not so bad,” Sora had chirped, leaning back on the heels of his hands, “We still haven’t gotten our letters from our backup schools. There’s _gotta_ be at _least_ one we all got into. It’s just statistics!”

Riku just quirked a brow; “I guess you’d know all about that now.”

Sora had shrugged, the motion nearly theatrical in how exaggerated it was; “Well… I mean… Studying _does_ get you good grades, apparently…”

Riku had closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Even if they _did_ all get into the same school, there was no chance in _Hell_ they were going to give up their dream school for him. And the school was in Northern California– everywhere else they’d applied to was either close to home in Southern California or on the other side of the country. There was no way. There was absolutely no way they were all going to the same school. Riku forced himself to breathe easy. It’s 2019, they have phones, they have computers, it’s not going to be the end of the world.

Riku had opened his eyes and smiled; “You know what? I’ve got an idea. This Summer we’re going on a road trip, all the way North to Canada. Who’s in?”

Sora and Kairi had both jolted back at that, wide eyes blinking rapidly, and Sora was the first to reply, “Where did _that_ come from?”

Kairi had leaned in closer and put the back of her hand on his forehead; “Riku are you dying?!”

Riku rolled his eyes and pushed her hand away; “I’m _fine_. But this is gonna be our first Summer as adults, free of high school’s bullshit, with a brief reprieve from academic pressure before we start college. Unless we want to pretend we’re richer than we are and take a gap year, this is the perfect time to do it. We’ll take my truck and stop at stupid ‘World’s Biggest Ball of Twine’ places and eat awful gas station food. It’ll be great!”

They had both stared at him for another tense second.

Then, Kairi broke the tension with a hiccuping laugh; “That sounds _awful,_ I’m _in!_ ”

Sora’s grin had returned in full force; “Alright, I haven’t tried to hop a border since our school trip to San Diego! I’m in!”

And for a moment, Riku thought things would be alright.

But then Prom rolled around.

The three of them had bought their tickets together, planned their outfits together, gotten invited to all the same afterparties and agreed to all ride there in Riku’s truck together. It was supposed to be a night for the three of them.

But Sora had suddenly shown up with a corsage for Kairi, red and pink roses to compliment her hair and her dress, while Riku found himself empty-handed. Sora’s mom had insisted on taking pictures of just Sora and Kairi before getting a group shot of the three of them. Sora and Kairi had piled into the back of the cab, leaving Riku behind the wheel as they talked excitedly back and forth about where Kairi had found her dress and what lame songs the DJ might play.

When they actually arrived at the South Cliffs Hotel things picked up a bit. The three of them got to witness Lulu and Wakka have a big blowup argument just before they were about to have their picture taken, gossiped madly about it with Selphie and Rikku, and got to laugh together at the lame songs the DJ had picked before dancing along anyway. Riku had to come up for air after a particularly energetic fast song. He’d stumbled to the edge of the dance floor, leaned hard against the wall, and pivoted around with the expectation that Sora and Kairi would be right at his side like always.

They were not.

The music had slowed down, and Sora and Kairi were near the center of the floor. Kairi had her arms confidently hooked around Sora’s neck and had been smiling up at him with the sort of royal grace she turned towards all of life. Sora had a brief case of hover-hands, but as the song wore on he’d gained the confidence to place his hands on her hips and sway in rhythm with her, face bright red but smile as wide and bright as it ever was. They were staring at each other like no one else in the world existed.

Especially not Riku.

Riku had pressed his back to the wall and slid slowly down until he was sitting on the floor.

It was only a matter of time. Sora would make things official with Kairi by graduation at the earliest. Kairi would be giddy to accept and they’d be deep in the honeymoon phase for the rest of the summer. This was insufferable from yards away. In the close confines of his truck, it would be unbearable.

Would they even _want_ to spend their first Summer as boyfriend and girlfriend with their friend third-wheeling the whole time?

Would they ever think to call or text their third wheel while they were miles away in Northern California, in their own little world where it was just the two of them?

Wakka had schlepped over at that point, spinning around to slump down next to Riku and groan, “God, _fuck_ this dance, ya? Whole thing’s a big pile ‘a _bullshit_.”

Wakka took a long pull from an actual _flask_ (which he’d probably stolen from his father), and Riku had sighed, “Yeah. Fuck this dance.”

Wakka tipped the flask towards Riku by way of invitation. Riku snatched it out of his hand, and the Grad Nite Incident of 2019 well and truly began when Riku took that first swig.


	2. Achy Breaky Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very Important Notes:
> 
> 1) This first chapter is VERY LONG. Be ready for that. Take bathroom breaks, get snacks. 
> 
> **EDIT 3/6/2019 5:11 PM:** This first chapter is so long that I've decided to cut it in half. That still leaves both chapters as PRETTY long, but like. Reasonably long. Chapters going forward will _attempt_ to adapt one game in at least one chapter, at most two.
> 
> 2) I fully admit to taking liberties with how Disneyland works for the purposes of dramatic license. I apologize in advance.

**i.** “Ladies and gentlemen, I now proudly present to you Isla Destino Academy’s class of twenty-nineteen!”

Graduation caps fly up and come down in a black rain, one that Sora is nowhere near graceful enough to avoid. He’s pelted by several hats before Riku and Kairi come running in, both of them grabbing him under one arm and dragging him out of the crowd. Once separated from their classmates by about a yard the three of them mob each other in a group hug, laughing loudly and breathlessly as Riku picks up his much shorter and scrawnier friends to spin them both around.

“We did it! We made it out alive! The road trip awaits!” Kairi giggles once Riku finally sets them both down, throwing her arms back around Sora’s neck and pulling him in so they’re cheek to cheek. Sora blushes from the roots of his hair to the tips of his toes, but laughs along. From the corner of his eye he thinks he sees Riku’s smile fall into a soft frown– nah, couldn’t be, that’s just Riku’s resting face. He always looks kinda mad. That’s why girls don’t actually talk to him and just make googley eyes at him from around corners and stuff.

Kairi lets him go and Sora laughs, “Let’s not go crazy, I mean we still gotta survive Grad Nite– Disneyland’s pretty dangerous!”

The three of them follow the flow of traffic towards the parking lots and Riku gives him a light shove; “Don’t tell me you fell in the Theme Park Youtube hole again.”

Sora just throws his hands in the air as he exclaims, “ _America Sings_ freakin’ _killed a girl,_ man! Nine days after it opened!”

Kairi furrows her eyebrows; “What’s _America Sings?_ ”

“It was where _Innoventions_ is,” Riku replies.

“Nah, _Innoventions_ is gone, now it’s the _Tomorrowland Expo_ ,” Sora cuts in, wriggling out of his gown to reveal the street clothes he wasn’t supposed to be wearing beneath.

Riku’s eyebrows disappear behind his long bangs; “ _What?!_ When did that happen?!”

“In like twenty-thirteen, though it didn’t actually close until twenty-fifteen,” Sora answers, “They had meet and greets with Marvel superheroes in there for those last two years.”

“So, Sora, what you’re telling us,” Kairi says, looking Sora in the eye with the utmost gravity, “is that you _did_ fall into the Theme Park Youtube hole again.”

Sora just grins; “I never said I _didn’t!_ ”

Sora tries to stay active in the conversation, but keeps catching himself staring at Kairi. Which is forgivable, he thinks, but a bit too corny and desperate for someone like Kairi to put up with for too long. Kairi carries herself with all the authority and dignity of royalty. She glides over to the bus with her chin held high and proceeds up its steps like she’s ascending to a throne. The effect is somewhat mitigated by the chaperone, Miss Gainsborough the Botany teacher, frantically calling Kairi back because she forgot to sign her name on the clipboard. But not by much.

When they first met when Sora was five, he thought Kairi was the prettiest girl in the entire world. Riku, a worldly and wise six year old, had told him that of course he thought that because she was the only girl they knew aside from their moms (at which point Sora had freaked out because “What do you mean our _MOMS_ ARE _GIRLS–?!_ ”). Thirteen years later, Sora knows a lot more girls, and Kairi is still the prettiest one in the entire world.

More than that, she’s funny and smarter than him and really, _really_ nice and cool. If she hadn’t helped him with his college essays long into the evening he would’ve been rejected from every school they applied to for _sure_ , and she’d already finished all of hers. She’d slept over that night and Sora had let her take his bed while he posted up on the floor, but remembers not getting a wink of sleep because every time they tried one of them would make a stupid joke into the silence and they’d giggle for twenty minutes. It had been _amazing_. He wants every night for the rest of his life to be like that.

Riku nudges him with his elbow; “Earth to Sora. Did you hear anything I just said?”

Sora blinks rapidly and shakes his head to clear it; “What? Huh? Yeah, you were– Yup, yeah, absolutely, yup!”

Riku’s snicker is a bit softer than usual; “Now _that’s_ a cause for concern, usually you just own up to it when you’ve zoned out. What’s up?”

Sora’s eyes dart furtively around to make sure none of the assholes in their graduating class are within earshot before muttering, “I was just… thinkin’ about Kairi.”

“Worried she’s gonna get crushed by _America Sings?_ ”

“ _No!_ … I mean, maybe, but no that’s not–” Sora runs a hand through his hair as he and Riku continue their shuffle toward the bus, “I… I _like_ Kairi. And I think… I dunno, I haven’t been sure for a long time if she _liked_ me back and there was that one time in Middle School where I tried asking her out and– You were there, you know how that went.”

Riku gives a full-body shudder; “Don’t remind me.”

Sora briefly grimaces before shaking his head again, forcing his face into something more confident; “But things are different now. We’re older now, we’re wiser, I gave her a _corsage_ at Prom and she didn’t make fun of me for it– Riku, I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna take the plunge. I’m gonna find somewhere romantic and I’m gonna ask her to be my girlfriend…” Sora’s intense gaze falters and he looks up at Riku again, “Do you know any place that’s romantic at Disneyland? Probably not _Pirates of the Caribbean_ , right?”

Riku doesn’t answer him. For a second, all he does is stare wide-eyed at Sora, jaw clenched tightly shut. He shoves something about getting some sleep on the bus out through his clenched teeth and skulks his way up to the door, signing his name forcefully enough Sora thinks he hears Miss Gainsborough’s clipboard start to creak. He storms into the bus and out of sight.

Sora has a few seconds to blink the shock out of his eyes before Tidus sidles up, a brow darker than his hair raised; “Whoa, what’s up with him?”

Sora purses his lips; “… For once, I actually have no idea.”

Sora scampers after him, pausing only to sign his name and give Miss Gainsborough a smile for her troubles, but Sora’s train of thought is derailed by Kairi waving to him and patting the open seat next to her. He gives the bus another scan and is pretty sure he can see Riku in the very back, Yuffie next to him talking enough for the whole bus. Sora considers… then shrugs. Riku’s just like this sometimes.

He flops down next to Kairi and grins; “You ready?”

Kairi lets out a slightly wavering laugh; “Honestly? Not really, I haven’t been to Disneyland since before we moved, I don’t remember anything about it. It’s like I’m going for the first time all over again!”

“Right, your family used to live over in Anaheim,” Sora remarks, leaning back in his seat, “Your dad still does, right? You seriously haven’t visited in thirteen years? It’s only an hour and a half drive.”

Kairi’s shoulders stiffen; “My mom and dad split on bad terms. She didn’t want to go visit, so _I_ didn’t want to go visit.”

Sora winces and gives her a light pat on the shoulder; “Well, at least there’s not gonna be much chance of running into your dad at Disneyland! So what ride do you wanna try first?”

Kairi launches into her dream itinerary as the bus takes off, and Sora listens attentively so he can properly fit “becoming boyfriend and girlfriend” into her jam-packed schedule.

♡

It’s a particularly hot day, so Bill was only out for half an hour in costume before he had to go back in and take his break– which he’s absolutely not complaining about. Being Goofy is a privilege, there’s nothing he loves more than making kids smile, but he’s not too proud to admit he loves it a little bit less during the Summer. He only has thirty minutes until his next set, so Bill decides the best way to use that time is to settle down in the corner of the break room, lean his head back, and take a long nap.

He only gets ten minutes into that nap before a piercing and familiar voice shouts, “ _BILL!_ ”

His eyes snap open and his head whips towards the noise. Sprinting towards him in all but the head of a Donald Duck costume is a harried young man with looks more suited for Prince Eric, but Bill definitely agrees with the water cooler in-jokes about Tony’s temperament being a far better match for Donald.

Tony comes sliding to a halt next to him and shoves a piece of paper in Bill’s face; “We’ve got trouble!”

Bill blinks a few times before remarking in the slow drawl he’s pretty sure got him the job (despite the fact that he’s not allowed to _talk_ ), “Gosh, I can’t read this if it’s too close to my eyes, Tony.”

Tony slam-dunks the note into Bill’s lap; “Bret is _gone!_ He’s AWOL and no one can find him! That’s the only lead we have!”

Bill furrows his brow; “Tony, I’m still new, who’s Bret again?”

Tony rubs at his temple with one big feathery hand; “He’s one of the Mickeys! He’s the Mickey that’s _supposed_ to be out and about _right now_ but he’s _gone!_ I was gonna ask if you could make sense of that note but I don’t know why I’m bothering.”

Tony paces and kvetches, which Bill ignores as he picks up the note and starts to read. Bret’s written it all in the same handwriting as Mickey’s signature. Bill sympathizes– this job can make it hard to drop out of character.

_Sorry to run off just before my set, but there’s a big problem. I can’t say everything about it, mostly because I don’t know the specifics just yet, but I can tell you that the Kingdom Keys have gone missing. If you find them while you’re out and about, pick them up and keep them safe until I can find you and get them back. We can’t have a guest messing around with them!_

_P.S. – If a guy named Leon comes with a group of kids from Isla Destino Academy say “hi” to him for me. He was my roommate for a while so you can tell him everything.  
_

Bill scratches an itch on his scalp as he reads the note over again; “What are the Kingdom Keys?”

“Something I thought was an urban legend up until five minutes ago,” Tony grouses, “It’s supposed to be this set of two keys that unlock everything in the park, and I mean _everything_. But the point is that nobody’s told Old Man Sid yet and we can still get Bret and those keys back before he finds out and fires him.”

Bill frowns, stroking his chin as he thinks the situation over; “Gosh, how are we gonna get out of here? If Old Man Sid sees me goin’ out in street clothes he’s gonna fire _me_.”

Tony bares his teeth in a rough concept sketch of a grin; “Only one way to ensure plausible deniability.”

Bill sighs, hanging his head. He shouldn’t get involved, but Bret’s a good guy who throws even better parties. Bill blacked out drunk at one of them and Bret kept him from ruining his own reputation, so Bill supposes he owes Bret something. He just hopes that heatstroke doesn’t force him to give his life for the cause.

“Gimme a minute to suit up.”

And in a minute and change, Donald Duck and Goofy the Alleged Dog go tearing out into the Anaheim sunshine to find Mickey Mouse.

♡

Isla Destino Academy is a rich school in a rich town an hour and a half drive away, so unlike their contemporaries that have been here all day in the hot sun the graduating class of 2019 arrives at five in the afternoon. Very much like their contemporaries, they still have to have their bags thoroughly searched by security before they can set foot in Downtown Disney. Sora’s water bottle is confiscated for the rest of eternity, they check Kairi’s stuff so thoroughly they find the bluetooth tracker she keeps in her wallet, but Riku’s pocket knife somehow passes right under their noses.

“Seriously, the security guy looked right at it, how did he let that slide?” Sora wonders as they pause halfway up the thoroughfare so Kairi can flit over to a kiosk. Riku shrugs one shoulder as he continues looking at nothing in particular.

Sora’s mouth pulls into a frown; “Riku… Are you alright?”

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

“Okay… You’d tell me if you weren’t, right?”

“Yeah.”

“You promise?”

Riku exhales harshly and avoids Sora’s eyes; “Sure, whatever.”

Before Sora can try pressing further, Kairi comes skipping back over from the souvenir kiosk with a flower-shaped phone charm pinched between two fingers; “Look at this! Isn’t it cute? Here, Sora, take it.”

She presses the charm into Sora’s palm. Sora’s beaming wide enough to threaten splitting his face in two and his face feels like it’s on fire. He nearly drops the charm twice before he can plug it into his phone’s headphone jack. Kairi watches him while rocking on her heels, beaming all the time.

And just as Sora’s about to thank her, Riku cuts in, “Why’d you only get _one?_ ”

Kairi stops dead in her bouncing to turn and level an affronted look at Riku; “Because I didn’t think _you’d_ want a phone charm shaped like a flower? We have all night, don’t get upset Riku–”

“I am _not upset,_ ” he growls, shoving his hands deep into his pockets, “Don’t put words in my mouth _Kairi_.”

Kairi’s brow furrows and she opens her mouth to retaliate, but after a second she looks over Riku’s shoulder and brightens up; “Oh hey, there’s a Starbucks here!”

She closes the distance between her and Sora to hand him her wallet, voice full of forced cheer as she asks, “Hey Sora, can you pop in there and get us the usual? We’re gonna need caffeine if we wanna party the _whole night_.”

Sora blinks a few times. Kairi gestures to the store with her head, waggling her eyebrows insistently. Sora looks between Kairi and Riku, considering… then shrugs. She’s right. Kairi usually is.

“Sure, I’ll be right back,” Sora chirps with as much cheer as _he_ can force before turning around and heading over to the coffee shop. His mind keeps drifting back to the scene outside as he orders, where he’s certain Kairi’s dressing Riku down for acting like a dick as she has many times before. He just hopes she can squash whatever’s causing Riku’s bad mood. This is their first night as high school graduates, it’s supposed to be a celebration, it’s supposed to be _fun_. Sora gets so caught up thinking about that he nearly misses when the barista calls his name. Sora resolutely places the three drinks into the cardboard carrier. When he goes outside everything’s going to be sorted out. He _knows it._

Sora steps back out into Downtown Disney, and not only has Kairi _not_ solved everything, Kairi isn’t even _there_. Riku is exactly where Sora left him, facing away.

Sora jogs over; “Hey, where’s Kairi? Did she go to the bathroom or something?”

Riku jumps slightly before his shoulders tense up and he snarls, “How would _I_ know? Kairi does her own shit. I’m sure she’s _just fine_.”

Sora reaches for Riku’s shoulder; “Okay, I’ve had enough of this, what the _Hell_ is going _on_ with you right now Riku–?!”

Riku spins around and backhands the coffee out of Sora’s hands. Sora’s able to get out of the way of the splashback but the contents of the three cups goes splattering across the ground, creating a lake of boiling hot liquid in the middle of the thoroughfare. Sora’s jaw falls open, but no sound comes out. He’s not sure what he wants to call Riku more, a dick or an asshole.

Riku’s upper lip lifts in a sneer; “I’m heading in. You can come with me or not, your choice.”

And he turns on his heel, stalking away into the crowd.

Sora gapes for a few more seconds before shouting, “Come back here you– you– fuckin _dickass,_ ” and dashing after him. Despite Riku’s tall stature and uncommon hair color Sora keeps losing sight of him only to pick him out further and further away. Sora ignores calls from his classmates and chaperones as he tries to track Riku, weaving around other park guests with no particular grace.

Kairi’s voice ratchets above the din; “Sora! Over here, Sora!”

Sora’s head whips around– through a break in the throng he can get a glimpse of Kairi stumbling towards him, and Sora tries to push his way over to her. He’s nearly close enough to touch her when there’s a flash of black hood and silver hair. A hand closes around Kairi’s wrist and she’s yanked away, just in time for a group of tourists to walk across Sora’s line of sight. Sora grits his teeth and fights his way to a break in traffic vaguely where Kairi had been. She’s nowhere to be seen.

Sora pivots around on his heel, calling, “Riku? Kairi?! Where are you?!”

No response.

Sora staggers to one side, hitting a bench with the back of his knees and falling back onto it. He runs his hands through his hair, reminding himself to breathe, breathe, _breathe_. There’s people he can talk to, people who can help, don’t freak out Sora, _don’t freak out–_

As he’s trying to calm down, Sora notices this bench is _bizarrely_ uncomfortable. It feels like two spikes are poking right into his ass. Sora carefully stands up and turns around. Apparently he sat right down on a ring of keys, the sort that a cartoon janitor would carry around, with only two keys on it. Sora picks it up and starts cycling through the two of them. The modern one is unlabeled, and the other key looks like its matching lock probably got melted down for spare iron in World War 2. Carved along the stem are two words:

 _Kingdom Hearts_.

Sora doesn’t have much time to contemplate what that means before he feels a hand grab his shoulder and a familiar voice say, “ _There_ you are.”

He’s physically turned around to face the other chaperone, the economics teacher Mister Leonheart (but seeing as he's a Cool Teacher most everyone calls him Leon), who has one eyebrow raised in exasperation; “What’s all this yelling about, Sora? Where are Riku and Kairi, and wh–?”

Leon’s voice trails off when his eyes land on the ring of keys in Sora’s hands. He stares at it, slack-jawed and wide-eyed, for a full minute.

Then he takes the hand off Sora’s shoulder to hold it open and out; “Give those to me, Sora.”

Sora’s brow furrows as he clutches the keys closer to his chest; “Shouldn’t we like… take these to a Lost and Found or something?”

Leon pinches the bridge of his nose; “Ordinarily yes, but–”

He _might_ have continued speaking after that, but Sora suddenly finds it quite difficult to hear as he's hit from behind by several pounds of stiff fluff going at _least_ sixty miles per hour. It certainly _feels_ like it’s going that fast as all the wind gets pushed out of Sora’s body at once and he’s knocked to the ground, the giant fuzzy weight engulfing him. Sora only has time to tighten his grip on the ring of keys before a _second_ weight joins the first, threatening to flatten Sora until he fills in every groove in the cobblestones.

Sora can feel large, cottony hands reaching for the ring of keys, and thankfully the only part of his body he can move right now is his arm, so he jerks it around to keep it consistently out of their reach. Distantly he hears Leon swearing and trying to cajole the masses on top of Sora into getting off of him. After a subjective eternity the weight finally lets up and Sora feels a hand grab the scruff of his t-shirt, dragging him up and away. Sora keeps his eyes shut and pulls the keys close to his chest, not opening them until he’s finally let go and propped up against a wall.

Sora pries his eyelids open to see his econ teacher flanked by Donald Duck and Goofy as they all stand in a darkened alleyway.

Sora’s jaw falls open and he blurts out, “What the _fuck?!_ ”

Leon turns to glare over his shoulder at the individual in the Donald costume; “Yeah, that’s what _I’d_ like to know, too.”

Donald cups his hands around his beak and leans in to whisper in Leon’s ear.

Sora frowns; “You _attacked me_ and you’re _still_ trying to stay in character?!”

Goofy just shrugs with his whole torso as Donald keeps whispering. After a minute or so Leon leans away with another sigh, rubbing at his temples.

“Oh this is _rich,_ ” Leon mutters, “So… Sora. This is going to sound like ridiculous bullshit, but you’re going to need to give those keys to these guys so they can… _give them to Mickey Mouse_.”

Sora stares; “… Yeah. That does sound like ridiculous bullshit.”

Leon runs his hands through his hair; “Okay. So. I know the guy who’s… _friends with_ Mickey Mouse, if you catch my meaning. And he’s told me that those keys… They’re not supposed to exist. Officially. Especially not the big old-fashioned one.”

Sora arches a brow; “So why does _he_ know about them?”

Leon rolls his eyes; “Do I _look_ like I _understand_ the intricacies of all this? Because I don’t. I _really don’t_. I just know these keys are supposed to be a secret and _he’s_ got to get his hands on them, not Lost and Found or anything like that. And yes, I understand how incredibly shady this all sounds.”

Leon holds his hand out once again, and Sora takes a long look at it before he meets the eyes of Donald and Goofy; “I wanna make a deal.”

Leon, Donald, and Goofy all facepalm in unison.

Sora points a finger at them; “I have something you want, and you’ve got something I want– You know this park way better than I do. So I wanna make a deal. I’ll help you look for Mickey, keeping these keys nearby you guys, and you’ll help me look for my friends Kairi and Riku. I’m pretty sure someone _took_ Kairi, so–”

“Wait a minute,” Leon cuts in, taking Sora by the shoulder again, “ _Took her?!_ Sora that’s _kidnapping_ not weird theme park intrigue, we should _definitely_ get security involved with _that_ at least–!”

Sora holds his hands up in a warding gesture; “I mean from the look I got at the guy it could’ve just been Riku! I wanna try finding them first! If I don’t have them back in two hours you can call the Disney Cops!”

Leon clenches his jaw tight, breathes in deep through his nose, a vein popping out on his neck. He looks one second away from slapping the shit out of Sora.

Instead, he jabs a finger in Sora’s face; “Two hours. If I don’t hear from you by then I _am_ getting security involved,” he whirls around on his heel to jab that same finger in the faces of Donald and Goofy, “If _anything_ happens to _any of my kids_ on your watch I am going to beat you so badly they won’t be able to extract your bodies from those suits. _Get me?_ ”

There’s a muffled sound like the whimpering of a dog, but both fur characters hastily nod.

Leon spares Sora one last suspicious look over his shoulder before stalking out of the alleyway. And now Sora is alone. With Donald and Goofy.

After a few seconds, Sora asks, “So are you guys gonna, like… talk?”

Donald and Goofy look to each other. Goofy gives another exaggerated shrug and Donald gives a full body sigh.

A profoundly _normal_ man’s voice comes out of Donald’s bill; “I mean I guess when there are no other guests around we can probably get away with it–”

Sora holds his hand out in the universal gesture for ‘Stop’; “No. _No._ It’s _weird_ hearing a normal voice come out of Donald Duck. Maybe just don’t talk unless you have to.”

Donald rolls his eyes by rolling his entire head, then gestures flippantly towards the mouth of the alleyway before crossing his arms over his chest and tapping his foot incessantly. Sora had the sneaking suspicion he might’ve made a very stupid choice, but now he’s absolutely sure.

But he can’t back down now, so he grins and asks, “So, uh… Where should we look first?”

♡

_An Excerpt from the #VillainSquad Discord Server:_

**Blazeit Weedjoke** _Today at 5:15 PM  
_     wtf howd some dumbass high school kid get the keys

 **CaptainMyCaptain** _Today at 5:15 PM  
_     The kid got lucky– He’s going to be a lot _less_ lucky when we get our hands on him and take those keys back!

 **Blazeit Weedjoke** _Today at 5:15 PM_  
     oh cool were beatin up a baby cool cool were real big and strong i see  
     disclaimer: im totally on board with this ill fight a kid ill fight a thousand kids ill take on every kid comin for grad nite tonite

 **Lady Le Fay** _Today at 5:16 PM_  
     It’s fine.  
     We have much more to do before we can think about the keys, just focus on that.  
     And really since this boy is being flanked by Donald Duck and Goofy he’ll be easy to track, so this isn’t entirely a loss.  
     Keep going as planned until I tell you not to.

 **Blazeit Weedjoke** _Today at 5:16 PM_  
     lol whatever baby

♡

Sora stumbles out of the _Alice in Wonderland_ ride, pauses for a moment, then holds up one finger; “They’re _definitely not in there_.”

Goofy gestures vaguely towards the teacups and Sora shakes his head; “I already gave that a sweep on our way over here, I didn’t see them. Besides, Riku got really mad when he learned they made it harder to get those spinning fast, he wouldn’t wanna go on those.”

Sora scratches his scalp as he tries to think of another place to look, but before Donald or Goofy can make another silent suggestion Sora perks up and sprints past them, leaving them choking on a cloud of dust. When it clears it reveals that Sora’s knocked his way through the crowd like a bowling ball through pins to come skidding to a halt in front of Alice’s face character.

“Hi,” Sora pants, holding up a hand, “I’m not here for like a picture or an autograph I just wanna ask you real fast if you’ve seen a boy my age with silver hair or a girl my age who’s got red hair and a pink dress?”

Alice blinks at him several times before putting a finger to her chin; “I _think_ I saw the white haired boy not too long ago, heading towards Main Street? The girl, however, I haven’t seen. Perhaps you should be taking this to–?”

“Nah, I’m good, thanks for the help!” Sora calls before wheeling around and dashing in the general direction of Main Street. Goofy and Donald scramble after him, drawing many a confused look from the other guests. Alice stares after them for a few moments more before shrugging and continuing towards backstage.

She never did make it.

♡

Cloud has done a lot of ridiculous things for not a lot of money, but being paid five bucks and some information to steal some keys from a kid is probably near the top of the list.

He trails the kid from Fantasyland onto Main Street, waiting for him to step away from his two costumed minders, which he thankfully does to dart into a merchandise shop. And as luck would have it some excitable kids come running up to Donald and Goofy, giving Cloud all the cover he needs. The kid’s back is turned, he’s between some shelves of Hercules merchandise giving Cloud close enough quarters to “accidentally” bump into him, he’s holding the keys in a relatively loose grip, nothing could be easier.

But the second his shoulder bumps into Sora’s the kid whirls around and socks him in the chin.

Cloud manages to catch himself before he knocks the shelf full of cups and figures and etcetera _over_ , but pieces of overpriced plastic still go scattering around their feet. Cloud shakes his head to clear it– once it’s clear, the first thing he sees are the keys threaded between Sora’s knuckles while the kid glares up at him in an attempt at menace.

“Why are you following me?! Are you the one who took Kairi?!” Sora snarls.

Cloud puts his hands up; “Don’t make a _scene,_ kid, I don’t know who Kairi is. I just want those keys.”

Sora opens his mouth, then snaps it shut when he catches sight of park employees coming over to see what all the commotion’s about. He grabs Cloud by the wrist and drags him all the way across the shop. He pauses in front of a supply closet, gives the modern key on the ring a hesitant glance, then sticks it in the lock.

When it unlocks without incident Sora brightens up, mutters, “So it _does_ open everything,” before yanking the door open and shoving Cloud in first. He skitters in after him and locks the door behind them.

There’s barely any room to maneuver so Sora nearly elbows Cloud in the face when he turns around; “Alright, what do you know about these keys? What’s so special about the big old one?”

Cloud shuts his eyes, rubbing his temples; “Look kid, I was paid to lift those keys off you and that’s it. I don’t know why a key to a janitor closet and an antique key matter to this guy, I’m too broke to ask questions.”

Sora frowns; “But not too broke to go to Disneyland?”

Cloud grimaces; “I’m a local, kid– Disney security’s good, but not good enough to cover every single way to sneak in. Besides, I’m not here for pleasure. I’m looking for someone.”

Sora chews on the inside of his lower lip for a few seconds before he says, “I can’t give you the keys. I need them if I’m gonna find my friends– By the way have you seen my friends? They’re two kids my age, a boy with white hair and a girl with red hair and a pink dress? The boy’s probably stomping around looking really moody.”

Cloud snorts, “Kid, I haven’t even found my _own_ moody white-haired guy… But, tell ya what, if I see anything I’ll give you a call.”

If you asked Cloud a few years ago if he saw himself in his late twenties exchanging cell phone numbers with an eighteen year old kid in a supply closet in a Disneyland merchandise store, he’d probably say ‘maybe’. The two of them sneak back out onto Main Street without incident, and Sora scurries off with the two fur characters with a wave over his shoulder.

Cloud waves back to him with one hand and types “Take your job and shove it” to Blazeit Weedjoke with the other.

♡

Sora scratches the back of his neck, staring up the stairs to Tarzan’s Treehouse; “Uh… I don’t know of you guys are gonna _fit_ –”

Donald shoves his way past Sora and starts tromping up the narrow staircase. Sora grits his teeth, grimacing over his shoulder at Goofy as he silently hopes there’s no one else in the attraction. Goofy gives him yet another hapless shrug and follows on his heels.

The attraction is mercifully empty for the moment, so Sora has time to search every nook and cranny of the treehouse– he sticks his head into the diorama of the leopard (just in case the inanimate statue mauled either of his friends), cranes his neck to make sure they’re not in the crow’s nest he’s pretty sure is leftover from when this was Swiss Family Robinson, even makes sure they didn’t fall into the water feature at the bottom of the attraction. Sora heads back up and does another run-through, unlocking anything he can unlock to get a more comprehensive view. All the while Donald Duck watches him, tapping his foot incessantly and performing a perfect pantomime of irritability.

Sora breathes out hard through his nose and snaps, “Look, I know you don’t want to be here either, but could you cut it out with the attitude?! I get it, it’s hot, we’re not making any progress, and you might get fired if you’re caught running around with me. I’m not having any fun either, especially because the last few places I had to look _by myself_ because you guys couldn’t come with me. My friends are missing right after having a _fight_ and today was _supposed to be_ a _good day_ and–!”

Goofy is suddenly squishing Sora’s cheeks between his two big hands. He makes a pushing motion, and it’s only when Goofy’s oversized gloves come away damp that Sora realizes he’d been crying.

A surprisingly appropriate voice for Goofy comes out of the mascot’s head; “Gosh, we know you’re havin’ a hard day, Sora. We’re sorry we haven’t been more helpful, we should be keepin’ each other’s spirits up! Ain’t that right, _Donald?_ ”

A real sigh comes through Donald’s bill, and after a pause the normal human voice comes out in a mumble; “Yeah… Sorry.”

Sora finds himself smiling as he sniffles, “No, I mean… I’ve just been asking about Riku and Kairi, I haven’t been helping _you_ find Mickey…”

Goofy gives him a soft pat on the back; “Don’t you worry none, pal. Come on, y’look hungry– Let’s get you a late lunch.”

Sora wants to bring up their hour deadline, but his stomach sees fit to rumble instead. It generally knows a lot better than he does, so Sora doesn’t complain.

♡

_An Excerpt from the #VillainSquad Discord Server:_

**Blazeit Weedjoke** _Today at 5:40 PM  
_     so cloud fuckin bailed

 **CaptainMyCaptain** _Today at 5:40 PM_  
     To absolutely no one’s surprise.

 **Blazeit Weedjoke** _Today at 5:40 PM_  
     dude fuck off what are you even doing right now  
     jack shit it looks like

 **CaptainMyCaptain** _Today at 5:40 PM_  
     Excuse me?! I grabbed “Alice”! _And_ “Cinderella”, _and_ “Belle” AND “AURORA”, _AND_ “SNOW WHITE”! YOU’RE THE ONE WHO HASN’T DONE JACK SHIT!

 **Blazeit Weedjoke** _Today at 5:41 PM_  
     you know what  
     you right lol

 **Lady Le Fay** _Today at 5:41 PM_  
     Both of you, shut the fuck up.  
     Besides, it’s fine, we’re right on schedule to get all our bargaining chips together.  
     And our new friend is going to make that process go even faster.

 **Blazeit Weedjoke** _Today at 5:41 PM  
     _just gonna say right here: its WEIRD how good you are at manipulating insecure teens

♡

Sora’s halfway through his turkey leg when he hears from behind him, “There you are! What’s going on?”

Sora whirls around to see Riku slow from jogging up Main Street to walking to stand even with him. Sora’s reflexes to hug Riku for being alive and to punch him for being a dick smash into each other like cold and warm storm fronts. The result is that Sora throws his half-eaten turkey leg at Riku and it smacks him in the chest, getting a splatter of barbecue sauce on his shirt. Goofy and Donald look between the two boys with motions that take their entire upper bodies.

“Where _were_ you?! I was worried _sick,_ and you were acting like such a _jerk,_ what is _wrong with you?!_ ” Sora sputters, running a hand roughly through his spiky brown hair as tears threaten to start welling up again.

Riku winces, trying to get the worst of the sauce off his shirt as he explains, “No yeah, I… Some personal stuff was kinda weighing on me so I lashed out, and I was trying to find you and Kairi so I could apologize. Do you know where Kairi is?”

Goofy feels a rumble from his pocket beneath the suit and pulls his arms in to grab his phone, awkwardly bringing it up to his face in the cramped quarters.

It’s a single text message, from Donald next to him– _This kid is lying through his fucking teeth_.

However, Sora’s the kind of person for whom the implication of an apology is just as good as the real thing; “Oh, okay! Well I’ve been looking for Kairi too because– You won’t believe this, but while I was looking for you in Downtown Disney I’m pretty sure I saw someone _grab her!_ ”

Riku’s eyes go wide; “ _What?!_ Why didn’t you call the Disney Cops or something?!”

“See that’s the crazy part, look–” Sora fishes a key ring out of one of the big pockets of his cargo shorts– “I found _these_. The new key opens up _everything in the park._ Seriously, everything! Watch!”

Sora then proceeds to unlock three different trash cans and several different doors on the temporarily unmanned churro and turkey leg carts. He makes sure to lock them and close them once he’s done showing off, and pointedly does _not_ steal any of the churros.

He comes scampering back over with a wide grin; “And that’s not all, it unlocks employee access doors on the rides and I think it works with keys that start rides too! I don’t know what the old key goes to but it’s probably _really secret and cool_.”

Riku’s eyebrows leap up; “Are you serious? Who just _drops_ something like that?”

“Dunno! But I’ve been running around with those guys,” he gestures to Goofy and Donald, who give Riku each a half-hearted wave, “because Mickey Mouse apparently has to get his hands on these!”

Riku frowns and looks over Sora’s shoulder; “But isn’t Mickey right over there?”

Sora rolls his eyes; “ _Apparently_ that’s not the right Mickey, the Mickey we’re looking for is in his classic shirtless look. But anyway, these guys know the park really well, with you helping we’ll find Kairi and Mickey in–!”

Donald suddenly takes Sora by the arm and drags him a few feet away, leaning over to whisper with that same theatrical motion, “I don’t think that’s a good idea, we should keep going on our own.”

Sora furrows his brow and says, louder than Donald would’ve liked, “What do you _mean_ you don’t want him coming with us?”

Donald makes an exasperated little motion with his hands before leaning back in; “I think he was lying to you about coming to apologize. He’s up to something.”

Sora pulls away to glare at him head on; “That’s crazy, I _know_ Riku, he wouldn’t lie to me! Riku, tell them–!”

Sora turns to where Riku was, and is not anymore.

He spins around, trying to pick him out of the Main Street crowd, but Riku has disappeared once again. He pivots back to glare even harder at Donald.

“Thanks a _lot_ ,” Sora grumbles, “At least we know he’s not dead. Come on, let’s keep looking.”

Sora stomps back towards Adventureland and Goofy gives Donald the most pointed look he can before following him.

♡

_An Excerpt from the #VillainSquad Discord Server:_

**darkboy420** _Today at 5:45 PM_  
     holy shit I thought you were fucking with me but no Sora’s straight up friends with _Donald and Goddamn Goofy_ now what the FUCK

 **Lady Le Fay** _Today at 5:45 PM_  
     I promised there would be no fucking with you, and I keep my promises.  
     Sora’s too distracted with this ridiculous quest he’s been given, he’s not qualified to find Kairi.  
     He’s _replaced you,_ as easily as he would shut you out for Kairi.  
     I’m the only one who can help you.

 **darkboy420** _Today at 5:46 PM_  
     I don’t know  
     I still think park security would probably be a better fit

 **Lady Le Fay** _Today at 5:46 PM_  
     Riku, you can trust them even _less_ than you can trust “Donald” and “Goofy”.  
     I know that from experience.

 **darkboy420** _Today at 5:47 PM_  
     I mean you’ve been pretty helpful and I appreciate that  
     but are you sure you can really help me find Kairi?

 **Lady Le Fay** _Today 5:47 PM_  
     I am.  
     Because I know _exactly_ where she is.  
     But I’m going to need something from you first.

♡

Jasmine puts a hand to her chin; “I haven’t seen that specific Mickey or that girl, I’m sorry.”

Sora heaves a sigh; “Okay, thanks anyway, we won’t keep you any longer.”

Jasmine smiles and says, “Don’t worry about that, I’m about to go on my break anyway. I hope you find your friend!”

She leaves with an appropriately regal wave, and Sora’s about to turn and ask Donald and Goofy where to next when he catches something from the corner of his eye. Jasmine’s Aladdin is watching her go, a softness in his eyes Sora knows can’t just be because he’s deep in character. He’s looking at Jasmine like Sora looks at Kairi.

Sora looks over his shoulder to see if Donald and Goofy are still blocking the other guests' view of Aladdin, then asks, “So are you guys dating in real life too?”

Aladdin jumps slightly and looks nervously around before getting in close and whispering, “No, I’ve been thinking about asking but… It’d be _weird,_ you know? ‘Hey so playing two people who are into each other has made me REALLY into you’! Would _you_ go for that pickup line?”

Sora frowns slightly as he thinks that over, then replies, “I mean, you’ll never know if you don’t try, right? Like… The girl I’m looking for, we’ve known each other for thirteen years. I’ve liked her basically that whole time, but I’ve been too chicken to ask her out for _real_. I was gonna ask her to be my girlfriend here, but… So I mean, life’s too short, you know? Might as well ask her now because she might get kidnapped tomorrow.”

Aladdin stares at him for a few seconds, then starts to nod, looking back the way Jasmine went; “I mean, weird analogy I guess, but you’re right… Yeah, you’re right! I’ve gotta take my break now, I’ll ask her out when I meet her backstage!”

Sora grins and Goofy and Donald clap and fist pump behind him; “Go for it! We’re rooting for you!”

Sora, Donald and Goofy head off to their next stop. Aladdin goes to take his break, but no matter how hard he looks can’t find Jasmine anywhere. No one notices the white haired boy slinking out one of the other exits to the back stage area, an unconscious woman on his back.

♡

_An Excerpt from the #VillainSquad Discord Server:_

**darkboy420** _Today at 6:00 PM_  
     alright, I handed “Jasmine” over, she’s with the others

 **Blazeit Weedjoke** _Today at 6:00 PM  
     _wtf sora was right there why didn’t you take the keys from him

 **darkboy420** _Today at 6:00 PM_  
     I was busy sneaking into the backstage area and kidnapping someone?  
     that shit’s nowhere near as easy as I make it look okay  
     anyway you guys have “Jasmine” now, time for your end  
     tell me where Kairi is

 **Lady Le Fay** _Today at 6:01 PM  
     _I can do better than that.

[ _inserted is an image of an unconscious Kairi, lying on a cement floor. no other features of the room are visible from the angle of the photograph_ ]

 **darkboy420** _Today at 6:01 PM_  
     where is that?!  
     tell me where that is right fucking now or so help me

 **Lady Le Fay** _Today at 6:01 PM_  
     “Hook” will be taking you straight to her.

 **darkboy420** _Today at 6:01 PM_  
     I will shove my boot up your ass  
     oh oops that was supposed to send a lot faster than it did

     ♡

Sora’s Storybookland Canal Boat is nearing Monstro’s gaping mouth when he spots a flash of white hair among the flow of foot traffic.

Sora cranes his neck to get a better look– The hair is one thing, but that’s definitely Riku’s yellow jacket and Angry Walk™ that involves his hands shoved up to the elbows in his pockets and a slouch that could get him mistaken for Quasimodo.

“Hey, Riku!” Sora calls as he moves without thinking, standing up in the tiny boat and leaping from it to the bank of the canal in _flagrant_ defiance of the safety instructions. The motion rocks the boat, nearly pitching Donald, Goofy, and the poor captain into the water. Sora scrambles through the bushes, up and over the fence and through the crowd. Riku catches sight of Sora over his shoulder but doesn’t stop– instead, his pace doubles as he makes a beeline for _Peter Pan’s Flight_.

Riku shoulders his way through the line, cutting all the way up to the front and glaring bloody murder at the ride attendant. Just like his “new friends” said they would, they look between him and the line, gulp, and let him onto one of the boats. Riku only stays in the boat until it enters the set of the Darling nursery, at which point he vaults out of it and down into the ride itself. Running at a crouch, Riku darts back the way he came and down the stairs hidden among the London rooftops, stopping when he hits a door to rap his knuckles on it– twice fast, one slow, two more times fast.

The door swings in.

On the other side, in full costume complete with a ridiculous giant head, is Captain Hook.

Riku hisses through gritted teeth, “She’s here?”

A voice that does not belong to Captain Hook comes through the big head; “Which ‘she’ are we talking? Because either way the answer is yes. Get your ass in here.”

Riku gets his ass in there and closes the door, creeping along behind Hook deeper into the bowels beneath the ride. They turn a corner and run headfirst into the two “she”s– standing tall and imperious is a picture perfect vision of Maleficent, glaring down her nose at them both. And sitting propped up against the wall at her feet is Kairi, unconscious and taking shallow breaths while her eyelids flutter aimlessly.

Riku is at her side in an instant, falling to one knee as he checks her pulse; “What happened to her?! Where did you find her?! Who did this?!”

Maleficent sneers, “One question at a time, thank you. Firstly, I believe she’s been drugged, but with what specifically I can’t be sure– All I _do_ know is that no stimulus has woken her. Secondly, we found her in Downtown Disney, shortly after the two of you got separated. Third, we have no idea.”

Riku swallows hard, fingers feeling Kairi’s slow pulse; “If I hadn’t… I didn’t even _follow her_ when she left…”

Maleficent’s hand reaches down, long nails raking across his scalp; “Guilt is a powerful motivator. Hold onto it.”

Riku whirls around to look up at her; “What can I do?”

Maleficent’s smile is devoid of anything so base as ‘mirth’; “There’s not much _you_ can do… But. There is another among our number who can help her. Help me see this through to the end. Get me the key to Kingdom Hearts. Once you’ve done that, I will help you bring her around. Does that sound fair to you?”

Riku narrows his eyes; “It’s just been one deal leading into another with you– Once Kairi’s safe I want that to be the end of it. No more kidnappings, no more contact. And that _includes_ the Villain Squad Discord.”

Maleficent arches a brow; “The deal must be _done_ first. To start, take her to Hollow Bastion with our other hostages. You and Hook will leave through the ride, I will leave the way I came so we are not all seen leaving together. Understood?”

Riku nods as he hoists Kairi up, whispering to her, “You’re gonna be okay. I’m gonna fix this, I promise.”

He starts off ahead of Hook, heading out the door and waiting in the stairwell until an empty ride vehicle passes over his head. He waves over his shoulder to Hook to follow as he darts up the stairs and into the Darling nursery. Riku tosses Kairi in first as the ride vehicle comes to meet them, then hops in after her. Hook hops in after him, leaving Riku between a rock and an unconscious place. If they can get through the ride without anyone freaking out about one of the people in this car being dead to the world and the other being _Captain fucking Hook_ , they’ll be golden.

“ _RIKU!_ ”

Riku drags his hand down his face and grumbles, “ _Of course_ we’re not golden.”

Riku turns, standing as much as he can in the cramped quarters. Sora’s in the ride vehicle behind him, Donald and Goofy absent, looking slightly damp and _very_ upset.

Riku’s lip lifts in a sneer; “Where are your _cool new friends,_ Sora? Couldn’t fit in the ride?”

Sora’s mouth screws up into a scowl; “ _Yes,_ also they needed to dry off their suits– some weird stuff happened and we met Ariel and _it’s not important_ – What are you doing? Why’d you run from me? And why’s _Captain Hook_ with you?”

Riku snorts, rolling his eyes, “Oh, so only _you’re_ allowed to hang out with face characters? I can’t believe this, you’re so concerned with _them_ now you didn’t even notice _her_ ,” he gestures to Kairi with a wag of his chin.

Sora’s eyes go wide; “You found Kairi? How? _Where?!_ ”

“Like you care, _you_ were too busy with those stupid keys so _I_ had to be her hero,” Riku snarls, picking Kairi up and draping her over one shoulder like a sack of potatoes, “Hook, keep him busy– I’m skipping ahead in line.”

Riku turns and manages to get a bead on the ship ahead of them, on the other side of the Neverland Island set in the star field. Riku holds his breath, waits until it’s as close as it’s ever going to be, and leaps from his ride vehicle. He and Kairi land in a heap in the laps of the couple who just wanted to have a good time, prompting screams from them both that Riku’s pocket knife in their faces quickly silences.

Sora grits his teeth and starts to stand up in his boat before it rocks violently from the sudden force of Captain Hook springing from his vehicle onto the prow of Sora’s. He yelps in shock and lurches out of Hook’s grasp as he grabs for Sora’s throat with his one hand.

The man inside the Captain Hook costume growls, “Hold still, kid, don’t make this any worse than it has to be!”

Sora bobs and weaves around more of Hook’s attempts to grab him, the ship swinging back and forth with every movement, waiting for an opening. Once he finds one his fist, keys threaded between his fingers, shoots out and connects with Captain Hook’s ridiculously large jaw. His neck whips back and the head goes sailing off, falling onto the deck of the pirate ship set. Hook lets out a harsh breath and rips off his hook hand, throwing it down after the head, before lunging for Sora’s throat with both hands ready to throttle.

Sora’s ready for him this time and lashes out again, his fist making contact and the master key stabbing Hook through the cheek. He recoils with a howl and Sora follows him, grabbing his ruffled collar and throwing him out of the boat to land at the feet of his animatronic counterpart, dancing on the jaws of the crocodile.

Sora leaps down after him and grabs the lapels of his coat, shaking him; “Where’s Riku taking Kairi?!”

Hook’s voice is slick with blood as he slurs, “I don’t fucking know–” Sora shakes him again and his voice rattles with the motion– “ _Fuck FUCK stop!_ I don’t _know,_ probably Hollow Bastion where Maleficent said to take the rest of the hostages I don’t _know–!_ ”

Sora lets go of his lapels and sprints through the rest of the ride track, back into the light of early evening, past the crowd and out onto Fantasyland’s main thoroughfare. He cranes his neck this way and that, nearly giving himself whiplash, but there’s no point. Riku is gone, and Kairi with him.

Donald and Goofy come barreling through the crowd, skidding to a halt at Sora’s side, and Sora’s babbling, “I saw– Riku was in there, and he had _Kairi_ , but she was like, asleep or something, and Captain Hook was there, and I stabbed him with my keys and–!”

Donald rapidly slams his hands into Sora’s shoulders and forcibly turns him back towards the ride. Park Security are closing in on Sora like a pack of hungry sharks, and before Sora can even consider turning himself in Goofy physically _lifts_ Sora off his feet and starts sprinting towards Sleeping Beauty’s castle. Sora, boneless from the shock, lets it happen.


	3. Heart of Glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second half of what was formerly chapter 1. Apologies for any confusion.

**ii.** “Okay. Let me see if I have this straight,” Leon sighs, rubbing his temple, “Riku’s working with at least two rogue disney villains who have _hostages,_ one of which is Kairi, hidden somewhere outside the park. And Kairi when you saw her was unconscious and unresponsive. _And_ because of a _fight_ you got into with _Captain Hook_ on a _dark ride_ you’re on the run from the Disney Cops.”

Sora nods, gripping his hot chocolate tightly to his chest. Goofy and Donald had run all the way back to Downtown Disney with Sora in tow, where they’d nearly knocked Leon off his feet. But he’d gotten a sense of the urgency and with the help of Miss Gainsborough they’d made it to the Starbucks. Sora’s master key had unlocked the back room, where they are currently hiding with some very confused but on-board baristas.

And Yuffie. Because Yuffie has a knack for being wherever she thinks is the most interesting at any given time.

Miss Gainsborough frowns slightly; “Where did you say Riku was taking Kairi again?”

Sora shrugs, shoulders tight; “Hollow Bastion. I have no idea where that is, I tried looking on my phone to see if there was any place in Anaheim called that but all I got was a lot of edgy video games and people talking about architecture.”

Leon leans against the wall, closing his eyes and tapping his chin as he thinks. Miss Gainsborough seems similarly lost in thought, running a hand through her hair as she stares at a spot on the ground. Yuffie’s playing Candy Crush on her phone.

Sora’s head thumps back against the wall as he looks forlornly over at Donald and Goofy; “And we still haven’t found Mickey…”

“Gosh, Sora, that’s alright,” Goofy’s good-enough drawl replies, “He told us to go find those keys and we did. So long as we’ve got those keys with us we’re still doin’ what he asked and everythin’s on track.”

Leon snaps his fingers; “ _That’s_ where I know Hollow Bastion from!”

Miss Gainsborough cocks her head to one side; “Wait, how do you know it?”

Leon’s mouth quirks up at one corner; “Because I lived down here until college. And Hollow Bastion’s a shithole now, but they _used_ to call it _Radiant Garden_.”

Miss Gainsborough and Yuffie both perk up, and Yuffie smacks herself on the forehead; “Oh fuckin– _duh!_ That’s where we lived until we moved! It was actively going to shit while we were there, I missed the nicknaming period!”

Miss Gainsborough bounces on her heels as she adds, “I lived there too while I was in grad school! What’s happened to it?”

Leon just levels a Look at Miss Gainsborough and deadpans, “Aerith, it was an _affordable housing complex_ near _Disneyland_.”

Miss Gainsborough presses her mouth into a tight line and lets out a little, “Hm,” before fixing her eyes back on a spot on the floor.

Leon kneels down and holds his hand out; “Give me your phone Sora, I’ll put the address into your maps app.”

Sora hands over his phone, and as Leon types Yuffie rolls onto her stomach to narrow her eyes at Sora; “Wait a minute, while you were chasing Kairi and Riku why didn’t you just _call them?_ ”

Sora is quiet for a few moments before he meets her eyes and says, earnestly, “Because I’m dumb, Yuffie.”

Miss Gainsborough reaches over to touch his shoulder; “You’re not dumb, Sora–”

Sora pats her hand; “No, it’s okay, I’ve accepted it.”

Leon hands the phone back; “Hollow Bastion isn’t far– In theory it’d be no time at all if you drove, but traffic’s bound to be gridlocked for about five square miles around the park so you’re better off hoofing it,” he glances over to Donald and Goofy, “And if you two are going to go with him you’re probably going to have to change–”

“ _OH THANK FUCKING GOD,_ ” Donald shouts as he rips the head off his suit, revealing a surprisingly handsome young man, “I swear to _christ_ this thing is probably soaked through with my sweat, and my actual _clothes_ are gonna have to go into the incinerator when I go home.”

“Gosh, I didn’t know the complex had an incinerator,” Goofy remarks as he takes his own head off, revealing a reasonable-looking man with a somewhat large nose as his only real remarkable feature, “Now that I think of it I do have some things that need burnin’.”

“Donald” glares over at “Goofy” and grouses, “It doesn’t. I’m gonna burn these clothes on the roof.”

“Goofy” frowns, scratching at his head with one of the costume’s oversized gloves; “I hope that doesn’t get us in trouble with our landlord.”

There’s a minute of stunned silence as the chaperones and high school students stare at the cast members, unsure how to process the violent murder of their suspensions of disbelief.

The silence is broken when Yuffie slowly leans over, gets right next to Sora’s ear and whispers, “ _Oh my God they were roommates._ ”

♡

Hollow Bastion is a fifteen minute sprint from the park, surprisingly close to the fancy hotels. Sora leads the charge; “Goofy” and “Donald”– who _have_ real names but were fine with Sora calling them by their character names because it saved time– got a second wind from getting out of their suits but are definitely starting to wilt. Those suits were _not_ designed to be run around in for _two hours_ and are currently hidden in a supply closet, but to keep the theming Goofy filched one of the Goofy hats and Donald changed into a shirt with Donald Duck on it.

Hollow Bastion looms menacingly above the three of them when they come to a stop at its gates. The housing complex is better described as an apartment building with a hole cut out of its center for a courtyard. From what Sora can glean of the original architectural features it must have been beautiful at one point, but now is surrounded by fallow flowerbeds and dry water features. The sign is caked in graffiti, the gate is hanging off its hinges, and if it weren’t for a few flickering lights in a scattering of windows Sora would’ve called the place abandoned and turned around to leave.

Oh, and the second they get there Sora Donald and Goofy are treated to the sound of a gunshot from the courtyard.

Sora kicks the gate in and runs inside, Donald shouting after him, “WHAT THE– WHY ARE YOU RUNNING _TOWARDS THE SOUND OF A GUNSHOT_ ,” but following on his heels regardless. Goofy makes sure to close the gate behind them.

Sora nearly trips over the feet he still hasn’t grown all the way into as he runs into the courtyard, skidding to a halt on the other side of another flower bed from the scene of the crime. The proverbial smoking gun is pointing right at the thigh of a man with a face full of stubble and a wild look in his eye, clutching at a growing bloodstain on his pants.

Sora is far less interested in the gun than he is in the person holding it; “Riku _where_ did you get a _GUN?!_ ”

Riku’s head whips up from the man on the ground just as Donald and Goofy come barreling up to Sora. Donald moves on instinct, shoving Sora behind him and grabbing Goofy’s wrist as he lurches toward the man on the ground.

“Don’t make any sudden moves!” Donald hisses through his teeth.

“But that’s _Rob,_ we can’t just leave him!” Goofy exclaims.

Riku arches a brow; “Oh _good,_ more _friends._ ”

Sora tries to push past Donald; “I don’t know who that guy even is! And neither do _you!_ You’re going around _shooting random people_ now Riku?!”

Riku’s lip lifts in a sneer; “Hardly. This guy is _friends with_ The Beast, and happens to care quite a lot for the woman who’s _friends with_ Belle. He objected to us taking her as a hostage, and I objected to his objection,” Riku levels the gun in a trembling hand at Goofy, “Best not make me object any further.”

Sora blinks a couple times before blurting out, “ _WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!_ And why are you talking like that?! Have you lost your _mind_ Riku?!”

“Have _I_ lost _my_ mind? That’s rich,” Riku hisses, “I’m the only one here who’s on task! _I’m_ doing whatever it takes to help Kairi, not you! Now hand over those keys before I _make_ you hand them over!”

Sora grits his teeth and snarls, “Fat chance, I’m not gonna hand you sh–!”

The gun barks and Goofy lets out a yelp, staggering away with one hand flying to his shoulder. Riku vaults over the flower bed, shoulder-checking Donald to send him spinning out and away before grabbing Sora by the collar and headbutting him. Sora and Riku had fought before– they’re teenage boys, of course they have– but in that moment Sora realizes just how much Riku had been holding back. Stars dance across his vision and he falls in a heap onto the concrete, only dimly aware of Riku rifling through the pockets of his shorts before finding the keys.

He stands up and mutters, “Okay, good, got ‘em. Hold on Kairi…”

Sora’s vision swims, Riku a blur of silver and yellow, Donald and Goofy identifiable only by their appropriate pieces of merchandise. Goofy kneels at Sora’s side, but Donald grabs him by the elbow and hoists him back up.

“We can’t just _leave_ him!”

“He’ll be fine, Riku has the keys! We have to grab him before he runs off with them! Let’s _go!_ ”

And go they do, leaving Sora on the concrete. Sora lies there for what feels like minutes, staring up at the sky. Clouds are rolling in, dark with the promise of rain. That would be appropriate right now. Might as well have one last thing ruin Sora’s Grad Nite. He can write this whole night off as a loss. He wonders if they’ll let him get back on the bus early, sleep a bit, maybe cry… God, it’s not even nine o’clock. Maybe his mom would come pick him up if he called her.

He just wants to go home.

A big hand grips his shoulder, shaking him slightly; “Hey, kid, you alright?”

Sora blinks and turns towards the voice. The man who’s _friends with_ The Beast is at his side, white-faced with pain but clenching his jaw tight. Pure willpower is probably all that’s keeping him upright.

Sora shoves himself onto his knees; “Don’t worry about me! _You’ve_ been _shot!_ We need to call an ambulance!”

“Beast” shakes his head, trying to talk and bite the inside of his cheek at the same time; “Bullet only grazed me, kid’s hands were shaking too much for him to get a clear shot. Besides, there’s someone in there that needs me. Unless you got a first aid kit in one of those giant pockets you’re the one who should be getting out of here.”

Sora frowns; “Okay I know you meant that as a dig but I actually _do_ so maybe hold still for a second.”

There’s no time for anything more sophisticated than Sora balling up one of his emergency socks to soak up the blood and affixing it with his entire roll of gauze. Beast stares wide-eyed as Sora works quickly and efficiently, then takes one of Beast’s arms over his shoulders and slowly helps him to his feet.

“You’re not leaving?”

Sora grins; “There’s someone in there that needs _me,_ too. Let’s hop to it!”

♡

_An Excerpt from the #VillainSquad Discord Server:_

**darkboy420** _Today at 6:55 PM_  
I have the keys

[ _inserted is a blurry photo of the keys in Riku’s hand_ ]

       I’m trying to lose Donald and Goofy, REMEMBER YOUR PART OF THE BARGAIN

 **Lady Le Fay** _Today at 6:55 PM_  
Of course I remember.  
I’ll start work on it right away.

_An Excerpt from the Direct Messages of “Maleficent”:_

**Maleficent** _Today at 6:55 PM_  
Riku has the keys. Bring the girl around while I start making ransom demands.

 **69_Darkest_69_Darkness_69** _Today at 6:56 PM  
       _It’s been done.  
Also, mind your tongue when you speak to me. I am not your inferior.

 **Maleficent** _Today at 6:56 PM  
       _I can’t mind my tongue when I’m _typing_.

♡

Riku’s nearly out of the second-floor landing when he hears Sora’s voice from down the stairs; “ _Stop, Riku!_ ”

Riku swears under his breath and dashes out into the hallway, only to skid to a halt when Donald and Goofy come crashing out of the door on the other side. He pivots around– Sora is dragging Beast along, the nearly dead weight forcing Sora into a shuffle, and Beast is living up to his character by snarling at Riku. Riku’s arm moves on instinct, the gun whipping over to point at Donald and Goofy. His hands are shaking like he’s in the middle of an Earthquake.

“Not a step farther,” Riku growls, “Turn around and walk away, Sora.”

Sora stares him down, unflinching; “Not without Kairi.”

Riku narrows his eyes, finger hovering over the trigger; “If you move, I won’t hesitate. It’s them or us, Sora.”

“I’m not going to _choose,_ Riku,” Sora fires back, “They’re my friends, and so are you and Kairi! I’m not abandoning any of my friends, not now or ever!”

For a second, Riku wants to believe him.

But in that second there’s a loud cry, and he’s hit from behind by the weight of two grown men. Donald’s arm goes around his neck in a headlock and Goofy wrenches his gun arm up and away. Riku’s finger grazes the trigger as the gun goes flying out of his hand, and Beast runs in to grab hold of his other arm. Between the three of them holding fast all Riku can do his kick his legs.

“Now, Sora! Grab the keys!” Donald screams in his ear.

Sora scrambles up and goes right for where Riku always keeps anything important. He grimaces as he reaches down the front of his pants, yanking the keys up and out, then skirts around the tangle of men to run the rest of the way down the hall. Donald, Goofy and Beast all shove him away in one motion, spinning to follow Sora. By the time Riku gets back up to one knee they’ve all squeezed through the door, out of sight.

Riku stares after them for a second before letting out a choked scream and punching the ground. His eyes burn. It feels like there’s a cork in his throat. There is no _possible way_ this day could get any worse.

“You’re going to need to be a lot stronger than that to keep a hold of those keys.”

Riku looks over his shoulder. The man at the end of the hall is dressed simply, black pants, black shoes, black hooded jacket that obscures much of his features. But what Riku _can_ see of them is oddly familiar.

Riku grits his teeth; “Are you calling me _weak?!_ ”

“For that instant you were, yes,” he replies, strolling leisurely up the hall, “But that can be easily fixed. You have potential, and little fear of dark deeds. Pursue that darkness, and there’s no end to the strength you will possess.”

Riku blinks up at him; “H-how… How do I _do that?_ ”

He crouches down in front of Riku and smiles; “Simple: Do _exactly_ as I say.”

♡

In hindsight, Sora really should’ve been much less surprised than he was to open that door and see a gun pointed right at him.

But in his defense, he’s _slightly_ more preoccupied by the fact that _Maleficent_ is pointing it at him.

She’s sitting on a sofa below the window in the nearly empty apartment, one leg crossed over the other; “Perfect timing, I expected your method of just trying every apartment door to see which ones were unlocked would take you quite a bit longer. Now,” she holds out one hand, palm up and open, “Kingdom Keys, please.”

Beast tries to push way past Sora into the apartment, shouting, “Where’s Julie?! Let her go, now!”

Maleficent doesn’t flinch; “Your princess is nearby. Learning exactly _how_ nearby will depend entirely on you. I will ask you nicely one last time– Kingdom Keys, please.”

Sora glances over his shoulder at Goofy and Donald, who both vigorously shake their heads.

Sora takes one step into the apartment; “I don’t get why you’re doing all this. Why hostages? Why these _keys?_ ”

“Why does anyone want blackmail material? For blackmail,” Maleficent replies coolly, “An institution like Disneyland doesn’t get out of bed for anything less than six hostages or a secret they _desperately_ don’t want anyone to know about. The princesses satisfy the first point, those keys satisfy the second. There are only two people who know what the antique key opens, and if today is any indication one of them is willing to risk his job to make sure no one else knows. The amount they’ll _pay_ will no doubt be _astronomic._ ”

Sora perks up as he slowly closes the distance; “Wait, you’ve seen Mickey?”

Maleficent frowns; “Let’s just say he’s been making a nuisance of himself.”

Sora looks over his shoulder at Donald, Goofy and Beast one more time before he stops right in front of Maleficent’s knees; “I give you these, you let me leave. Is that fair?”

Maleficent smiles, the expression not coming anywhere near the same zip code as her eyes; “Of course.”

Sora drops the keys into her waiting hand… then rears back and headbutts her as hard as he can.

Maleficent’s arms flail wildly at the impact– the Kingdom Keys fly out of her hand and her finger jerks on the trigger of her pistol as the barrel lilts off target. The gun goes off. Maleficent lets out a harsh cry as the bullet lodges itself in her thigh, just above her knee. Sora grits his teeth in a wince, but strafes over to pick up the keys and wheel back towards the door. He trips and turns the trip into a roll straight through the apartment door. Goofy slams it shut and the four of them sprint down the hall towards the stairs.

“Well _great,_ ” Donald shouts from near the back of the pack, “She was the only one who knew where Kairi and the princesses are! What are we gonna do now?!”

“We could go back to knocking on every door,” Goofy volunteers through a strained attempt at an optimistic smile.

Beast grits his teeth; “No _time for that_ – I don’t know how long I can keep going, I have to find her before I pass out…”

A loud beeping sound comes blaring out from one of Sora’s pockets, making everyone jump all the way out of their skin and into the upper atmosphere.

Sora trips to a stop and starts searching his pockets. After two seconds of rifling he pulls out Kairi’s wallet– _that’s right,_ he hadn’t gotten to return it to her before she disappeared! Sora tears the wallet apart, pushing past coins and cash and condoms (he can’t think too hard about the implications of those right now) to find her Bluetooth tracker, beeping like a car alarm with a flashing LED light on one face of it.

Sora’s face blossoms into a grin; “You guys, we just hit the jackpot!”

Goofy cocks his head to one side; “What _is_ that thing?”

“Kairi’s bluetooth tracker, it works both ways,” Sora explains, “She can use the app on her phone to make it go off and find it on GPS– _so_ we know she’s conscious right now! _And_ the tracker can be used to find the phone! The light on it blinks faster the closer you are!”

Beast squints at it; “It’s going the fuck off right now– We’ve gotta be close.”

Sora grins fiercely; “We can always get closer. Let’s go!”

♡

_An Excerpt from the Direct Messages of “Maleficent”:_

**Maleficent** _Today at 7:10 PM_  
       ansem where are you  
       the brat headbutted me  
       the gun went off into my leg  
       ansem i need your help

 **69_Darkest_69_Darkness_69** _Today at 7:10 PM_  
       Interesting, considering I don’t need yours.

 **Maleficent** _Today at 7:10 PM_  
       what the fuck  
       what are you talking about stop fucking around and come help me  
       please

 **69_Darkest_69_Darkness_69** _Today at 7:10 PM_  
       The keybearer is heading straight towards me. You’ve fulfilled your purpose.  
       Goodbye, Susanne.

[ _the direct message thread ends here_ ]

♡

Ansem hands his phone over to Riku and picks up Kairi’s, checking the tracker app. He rolls his eyes– this thing doesn’t have access to a map of the interior of Hollow Bastion so it’s placing Sora right on top of them. He’s not sure why he bothered. Ansem leans back against the wall, opening the window above the sofa to let some air into the stuffy apartment, and sets about looking through the girl’s phone to pass what time remains.

There’s a few minutes of silence before Riku asks, “Wait, why– Why are we just _leaving_ Maleficent? She’s been _shot._ She needs an ambulance or something–”

“ _She_ certainly does, but _we_ hardly need to bring the authorities here,” Ansem replies, scrolling through Kairi’s twitter feed, “I’m sure I don’t need to remind you of the six counts of kidnapping we have sitting over in the bedroom. And that gun you keep missing with wasn’t acquired by legal means, either.”

Riku frowns, eyes drifting to where Kairi lies half-conscious on the couch; “You’re sure that drug’s gonna wear all the way off soon?”

“For the last time, yes,” Ansem sighs, “I’m very familiar with the drug, it’s not very potent, even for a girl that small. She’s going to be _fine_.”

Riku stares at him a moment before his brows draw together; “… Wait, _why_ are you–?”

There’s a knock on the door.

Ansem wags his chin towards it; “Greet our guests, Riku. And remember to let _me_ do the talking.”

Riku swallows hard, but does as he’s bade. He opens the door to reveal Sora, Donald, Goofy, and a Beast that looks near passing out from blood loss. Sora’s eyes only briefly land on Riku before he catches sight of Kairi and they go wide as the sky.

“Kairi!” Sora tries to shove his way in but Goofy and Donald grab his arms at the same time Riku pulls out the gun, pointing it right at Sora. Sora and his cast member retinue all freeze. Ansem merely raises an eyebrow. Evidently he’s the only person in the room aware the safety’s still on.

“Let’s keep the volume low,” Ansem remarks, gesturing over to Kairi with one hand, “She’s still waking up, after all– We should let her do it at her own pace.”

Kairi lets out a soft groan, eyes moving sluggishly until they fall on the doorway; “… Sora…” her mouth curls into a tiny smile, “You made it.”

Ansem holds her phone up for Sora to see; “Weak as she is she had the clever idea to try and find you. She’s been quite a bit more helpful than Maleficent, surprisingly.”

Sora thrashes against the hands of his minders as Goofy asks, “Who the Heck are you?”

Beast leans against the door frame, teeth grinding; “Where are the other hostages?!”

Ansem inclines his head; “‘Ansem’ will do for the time being, and the hostages are just over there,” he gestures to the locked bedroom, “But you can’t get something for nothing.”

He holds a hand out; “I will be needing those keys, Sora. And don’t try headbutting _me_ – that won’t work nearly as well as it did on Maleficent.”

He nods to Riku, who types a few words into Ansem’s phone. After a breath, a small red light blinks to life, right on top of Sora’s heart. It creeps over to Riku’s forehead, making him swallow hard. Ansem hooks an arm beneath Kairi’s shoulders and legs, picking her up with little issue. She struggles, but it’s like the struggling of a worm about to be pierced by a hook– inconsequential and futile.

Ansem’s mouth twists slightly up; “I’m sure you can see how easily I could place her _right_ within sight of the sniper. And before you ask, yes, there is a window that provides a clear view straight to the princesses.”

Donald lets out a nervous, strangled laugh; “How do we know you’re not just fucking with us using a laser point–?!”

There’s a distant clicking sound, a rush of air, and the carpet right in front of Donald’s foot explodes in a burst of dust and mold. When it clears there’s a hole punched clean through the floor and down into the apartment below.

Donald lets out a quiet wheeze, but wisely says nothing more.

“So then, if you won’t give me the keys, then I’ll ask which you would prefer losing first,” Ansem nods towards Kairi, “The girl you love,” then to Riku, “Or the boy who betrayed you? Though when I put it that way I think the choice is clear.”

The laser sight swings up to Riku’s throat, his eyes go wide and he stammers, “Th-that– That wasn’t– This wasn’t the _deal_ Ansem what–?!”

“Stop it!” Sora shouts, wrenching out of Donald and Goofy’s grips to stagger all the way inside, “I’m not _choosing!_ They’re both my friends, they have been since we were kids and I’m not throwing that all away now! We’re _staying_ together, no matter what! If you’re going to shoot anyone, shoot me!”

Riku can’t hold in a gasp and Kairi lurches out of Ansem’s arms, falling to the ground, trying to crawl over to Sora; “Sora, no, don’t–!”

There’s a sharp twinge at the back of Ansem’s throat. Why does this boy have to look so _familiar…_ He swallows it down.

“That won’t be necessary,” he replies, “I have no need for your life. You and your friends will leave this place unharmed if and when you give me the keys. The hostages will be allowed to leave with you.”

Sora frowns; “Wait, you _don’t_ need the hostages? I thought you were blackmailing the park, why do you just want the keys?”

Ansem pauses for a moment, considering his answer; “Let’s just say that behind the door that antique key opens is the darkness I’m seeking and leave it there.”

Sora leans over and whispers to Riku, “What the f–?”

Riku leans in and whispers back, “He just– That’s just how he talks, I don’t get it either.”

Ansem taps the screen of Kairi’s phone; “The clock is ticking, Sora.”

Initially, Sora doesn’t say anything. He just walks straight toward Ansem, stopping only to kneel down by Kairi and help her sit up with her back against the couch.

He smooths her hair out of her face with a smile; “It’s gonna be okay, I promise.”

Kairi takes fistfuls of his shirt, babbling frantically, “No, Sora, you can’t, don’t _trust him,_ ” but Sora extracts himself finger by finger from her grip.

He stands tall, back straight, and steps around her. He’s an arm’s-length away from Ansem now. He fishes around in his pocket and pulls out the keys, holding his arm out straight with the keys dangling directly between the two of them. Ansem plucks the keys from Sora’s grip and pauses, giving the boy all the time he wants to pull another fast one. He just lets his arm fall back by his side.

Ansem pockets the keys with a smile. He drops Kairi’s phone in her lap, then glances out the open window and does some mental math. It’s about a forty foot drop, give or take five feet. That will do just fine.

So he grabs Sora by the throat, lifts him off his feet, and throws him out the window.

All Hell breaks loose.

Ansem hears three sounds layering over each other– Kairi letting out a bloodcurdling scream, the lock to the bedroom clicking open, and Riku roaring at the top of his lungs. Riku leaps for him, gun forgotten, hands grasping for his throat instead. Ansem weaves around him and catches from the corner of his eye Kairi scrambling to her feet only to get shoved back and away by Riku. The six princesses, “Cinderella” at the head with a bent bobby-pin in one hand, are flooding out from the bedroom to the door with Goofy, Donald and Beast helping them as best they can.

Riku shouts over his shoulder to Kairi, “Get out of here before the sniper starts firing!”

Right on cue a bullet whizzes past Kairi’s head and through the floor.

Kairi’s eyes dart between the bullet hole and Riku; “I’m not leaving you!”

Riku grits his teeth and lies right through them; “I’ll be right behind you, now _go!_ ”

Kairi does one last double-take before Goofy comes up behind her and guides her to the door. As Kairi turns her back Riku dives towards the gun. Ansem is faster. His hand shoots out and grabs Riku by the hair, winding it around his hand and yanking him back. Riku pulls against Ansem’s grip, threatening to tear all the hair out by the roots. Ansem holds fast.

Ansem slits his eyes in a glare; “What’s the point of this? Do you think they’ll truly forgive you for what you’ve done?”

“What the Hell do you know?!” Riku snarls.

“More than you’d think,” Ansem murmurs, signaling with his free hand.

Another distant click. Riku jerks in his grasp like a fish on a line, then sags. Ansem drops him, picks up the gun, and strolls out of the room in the direction of the fire escape stairs. As he walks, he pulls out his second phone.

♡

_An Excerpt from Ansem’s Direct Messages:_

**Superior** _Today at 7:15 PM  
       _You missed.

 **Blazeit Weedjoke** _Today at 7:15 PM_  
       wtf are you talking about  
       you wanted me to hit the kid and i did

 **Superior** _Today at 7:30 PM  
       _I wanted the boy _dead._

 **Blazeit Weedjoke** _Today at 7:15 PM_  
       lol youve been in this business ten years and still dont know shit  
       getting shot isnt like in the movies  
       that kid isnt gonna be able to move thanks to the pain and the fact that his legs got a hole in it  
       so he cant get help  
       so he gonna bleed the fuck out lmao

 **Superior** _Today at 7:15 PM_  
       I don’t have time to argue with you.  
       I’ll need cover fire.

 **Blazeit Weedjoke** _Today at 7:15 PM  
_       lol whatever you want boss

♡

This is a nightmare. It has to be. Any moment now Kairi will wake up and she’ll be in her own bed on the morning of graduation and this will all have been her nerves catastrophizing.

Any moment now.

Kairi blinks and rubs at her eyes but no, she’s still stumbling down the stairs of an apartment complex nearing condemnation on the heels of six Disney princesses with three random guys at the back of the pack. Her two best friends still might be dead. She’s still fighting off the effects of some kind of knockout drug that’s making her head spin and stomach lurch.

This is the worst night of her life.

They come spilling out to the street near the back of the complex, but don’t get far before they hear a series of clicks and three bullets narrowly miss Jasmine’s toes.

“Where the _fuck_ is he even _perched?!_ ” The man with the wounded leg hisses.

“Belle” takes one of his arms and slings it over her shoulders; “He has to be on top of one of the hotels, we need to break line of sight! Come on!”

Kairi shakes her head; “I’m not leaving without Riku and Sora!”

“Snow White” hisses through gritted teeth, “I don’t think we’re gonna get much _leaving_ done with a _sniper sight_ trained on us!”

Kairi’s moved by the motion of the group, who loop up and around the back of the complex. Between the sidewalk and the street is a planter full of trees and bushes, blocking the view from the third floor to the ground, and the second the group makes it all the way behind them the warning shots stop dogging their steps. Everyone leans against the back wall, taking deep, grateful breaths. The relief doesn’t last for long, not for Kairi. The situation is clear– if they move out from behind this position, they become targets again.

There’s a rustling in the bushes.

Everyone’s reflexes kick into high gear, the princesses and Those Three Other Guys all crowding around Kairi like a phalanx. Kairi struggles to get a look through the break between Alice and Jasmine. The bushes rustle and bustle, and beneath the cracking of twigs and shifting of leaves Kairi can swear she hears a voice, groaning and muttering mild swears under its breath. Kairi furrows her brow. She looks up. There’s an open window on the fourth floor of Hollow Bastion, right above them. She takes a moment to calculate angles… No. There’s no way… is there?

Kairi slowly looks back down to the bushes; “… Sora?”

A hand breaks through the brush. The hand drags it’s adjoining arm out onto the concrete. The arm pulls a torso along with it, and following the torso is a head covered in spiky brown hair.

Kairi bursts through the defensive line with an elated cry of, “ _Sora!_ ”

She rushes to his side with two of Those Three Guys not far behind her, all of them working together to pull Sora the rest of the way out of the brush. Sora grins up at them, loose and wide.

“Hey Kairi, Donald, Goofy,” he drawls, voice stumbling and spinning like a drunk, “I lived!”

“I can see that,” Kairi laughs around the lump in her throat, “ _How?!_ ”

The one in the Goofy Hat, probably Goofy, points directly above them; “He probably hit those trees first! They must’ve taken some of his momentum, kept him from buildin’ up as much speed and hitting as hard when he finally reached the ground!”

Kairi follows Goofy’s gesture to see a lot of broken branches and torn leaves; “… Sora, you’re the luckiest guy in the world.”

Sora cringes; “I don’t _feel_ lucky. I feel like I broke a rib.”

“We can figure out if you broke a rib later, right now we have to leave and get somewhere safe,” Donald snaps.

Sora and Kairi both jolt up and glare at him; “What about Riku?!”

Donald sputters, “What a– What _about_ Riku?! He _shot two people!_ He was _going_ to shoot _Sora!_ He can look after his damn self! We are _leaving now_ and that’s _final!_ ”

The two of them both clench their jaws, but don’t say anything more. Kairi picks Sora up and drapes one of his arms over her shoulder– the effort makes her vision tunnel and her lunch threaten to come back up, but she works through it and gets Sora up onto his feet. He is _so much heavier_ than she remembers. When was the last time _she_ carried _him?_ Middle school?

Sora mumbles in her ear, “Kairi, you don’t have to–”

Kairi frowns over at him; “Shut up. I get to carry you after you got _thrown out a window_ for me. Fair’s fair.”

“Snow White” looks from Sora and Kairi to the sidewalk ahead; “Are we just gonna run for it?”

“What other choice do we have? Let’s go!” “Cinderella” calls before sprinting for the street. Everyone shouts some variation on ‘FUCKIN–!’ before following. The second they come out from from behind the trees bullet holes start appearing in the concrete. Kairi makes sure she’s between Sora and any incoming fire. She’s not sure how far they’re going to get or where they’re going to end up. Running and keeping Sora safe is all her mind can focus on.

Tires screech and rubber burns. All eyes whip to the van wheeling around the corner, a big gray rental you could use to go camping for a few days. The side door slides open and the driver’s side window rolls down to reveal a blond man with unreasonably wild hair.

He waves towards the back of the van; “Come on, get in before that motherfucker actually _hits_ something!”

Everyone stares at the man in silence before Sora breaks it; “Cloud? What are you doing here?”

Kairi frowns down at him; “You _know_ this guy?”

Sora grins and says in a tone far too chipper for the words that go with it, “Yeah, he tried to rob me but we’re cool now.”

Cloud lets out an exasperated sigh; “Leon’s a mutual friend and I’m doing him a favor now _get in!_ ”

No one needs to be told a third time. Everyone dives in and “Aurora” slams the door shut, just in time for another round to pierce it and barely miss Cinderella before going out the other side of the van. Cloud floors it. Everyone rolls with the motion of the van as it rockets down the street and away from the hotels, closer to Disneyland where the cops are _far_ more likely to Strenuously Object™ to someone disturbing the atmosphere.

Heart rates decelerate and muscles relax. In the cramped quarters of the van everyone starts taking stock of the injuries. The princesses are in a similar state to Kairi, coming down off small doses of whatever chloroform-adjacent drug put them down to start with, but beyond that they’re the lowest priority. One of Riku’s shots grazed Goofy’s shoulder, but it’s far less serious than what The Guy who is Apparently “Beast” sustained, and Sora apparently did all he could on that front. The true miracle is that nothing on Sora is _broken,_ but after some amateur examination most everyone’s pretty sure he probably bruised a few ribs.

Off to one side, Kairi catches sight of Belle smiling fondly at Beast, murmuring, “You came all this way to rescue me?”

He looks away, biting the inside of his cheek; “I mean… Why _wouldn’t_ I? I… _care about_ you.”

Belle laughs from her belly; “Thank you, Rob. I _care very much about_ you, too.”

She leans over and gives him a kiss on the cheek, but it lasts long enough to let everyone in the car know they should look elsewhere and think about other things.

Kairi takes some initiative by looking to the front of the van and asking, “So where are we headed?”

Cloud sighs, “Beats me. All I know is I’ve got to take you and Sora back to your bus or Leon’s going to unhinge his jaw and swallow me whole.”

Kairi perks up; “Do they know what’s going on? Is Grad Nite cancelled?”

Cloud stares at her via the rearview mirror; “Kid, your class’ parents paid a hundred-thirty-nine bucks a head. If they don’t get their money’s worth your school’s gonna get sued into oblivion. And as for the park itself, they’re looking at that on an astronomically larger scale, _especially_ if it gets out that the kids were in _danger_. God himself could not shut this function down.”

Kairi lets out a hard sigh– these are the times she _hates_ living in a bougie suburb and going to a private school. Distantly, she wonders if her half-sisters are faring any better down here with her father. When their Grad Nite rolls around next year she hopes they just go to Universal and spare themselves the heartache.

Sora pulls himself up into a sitting position and grunts, “We gotta go back.”

Donald runs a hand through his hair and groans, “ _Sora_ it’s like I _just said_ Riku–!”

“– is my _friend,_ ” Sora growls, “And I _know_ he’s a criminal now but I _also know_ that something made him turn into one in the course of _two hours_ and I want to know _what!_ And even more important than that is that _Ansem has the keys!_ We need to get Riku back _and_ we need to get those keys back, so we need to _go_ back!”

Sora’s pocket lights up and starts blaring, “ _(WAKE ME UP) WAKE ME UP INSIDE (CAN’T WAKE UP) WAKE ME UP INSIDE–_ ”

Sora and Kairi both perk up and exclaim, “That’s Riku!”

Sora pulls his phone out and immediately puts it on speaker; “Riku?! Riku, where are you? I have so many questions, are you alright? Why–?”

Riku’s voice comes through in a wheeze; “I don’t have a lot of time, Sora, and neither do you. I promise I’ll answer _all_ the questions you have once all of this is done, but right now I need you to listen to me, and I get it if you don’t want to but–”

“I’m listening,” Sora cuts in, “What’s up?”

Sora hears Riku swallow and the ambient sounds of a crowd; “I’m not at Hollow Bastion anymore, neither is Ansem. Ansem’s breaking into Disneyland through the construction site for Galaxy’s Edge. He’s gonna unlock the gate between it and the rest of the park with the master key, then go unlock whatever Kingdom Hearts is. If we hurry we can stop him.”

Sora’s brow furrows; “How do you know that?”

There’s a lilt to Riku’s voice, the upturn of a grin; “Dumb motherfucker left his phone in the apartment _and_ wrote out his plan in the notepad app.”

A snicker bursts from Sora; “No _way!_ ”

“Yeah, way,” Riku laughs, “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be there, and I won’t be alone… Sora… I’m sorry. For everything.”

The line goes dead.

Sora looks over to Cloud; “You said you knew how to sneak into the park. Is there a way to sneak into the construction site?”

Cloud’s brow furrows; “Theoretically yes, but… You sure you trust this kid?”

This time Kairi answers, “Riku _attacked_ Ansem. He was ready to throttle him for hurting Sora. He _stayed behind_ with him so we could escape. If you can trust anything, it’s that Riku wants Ansem’s ass kicked.”

Cloud breathes out hard through his nose; “Leon’s gonna kill me… There’s a hole under the fence. We’ll be there in a few.”

The car lapses into the near-silence of people having multiple private conversations in hushed tones. Despite just regaining consciousness Kairi feels like she could sleep for a hundred years.

Kairi leans on Sora’s shoulder; “Hey.”

Sora croaks out an answering, “Hey.”

She smiles over at him; “Thanks for holding onto my wallet.”

“Would you believe I completely forgot you gave it to me?”

Kairi presses closer to him with a laugh; “Of course I would, I _know_ you.”

Sora rests his cheek on the top of her head; “I have to go after him.”

“I know you do.”

“Do you think you’re up to coming with me?”

Kairi’s stomach lurches again and she slowly shakes her head; “No.”

Sora reaches over and squeezes her hand, whispering, “I don’t want to leave you alone again.”

Kairi’s quiet for a moment.

Then, she smiles; “So you won’t. Gimme my wallet and your phone.”

Sora does as she asks. Kairi pulls out the bluetooth tracker. She unplugs the phone charm she gave Sora, loops the plug and string through the hole in the corner of the tracker, and plugs the charm back into the phone before handing it back.

“There we go,” she chirps in the best imitation of cheer she has left, “Now we’ll always be able to find each other… At least, so long as you stay within three hundred feet.”

Sora stares at his improved charm, open-mouthed and wide-eyed. He meets her eye with a brilliant smile.

“I won’t stray too far,” he whispers, like they’re the only people in this crowded van. Kairi wants nothing more in the world than to kiss his big stupid face.

But she just grins and takes his hands in hers; “Bring it back in one piece, okay?”

“I promise.”

Cloud raps his knuckles on the van’s ceiling, drawing Sora’s attention up front; “We’re almost there. You ready?”

Sora swallows with a nod; “Yeah, I am.”

Donald nods in time; “Let’s get this shit done.”

Sora does a double-take; “Wait, you’re coming too? You don’t h–”

Donald reaches over and gives Sora a one-handed noogie; “Shut up. You got thrown out a _window_ on my watch– That’s not happening ever again.”

Goofy squeezes Sora’s shoulder; “We’re pals now, Sora! Pals stick together whenever they can!”

Donald sighs, “Unfortunately, he’s right.”

Cloud looks to Kairi; “Does he _normally_ collect friends like trading cards?”

Kairi gives a loose shrug; “Ever since we were five.”

The van rolls to a stop. The door slides open to a view of a sidewalk and planters covering chainlink fence. The clouds have made good on their promise of rain. Sora smiles one last time over his shoulder at her before hobbling out of the van, Donald and Goofy close at hand to support him when he stumbles.

The door shuts, and Kairi loses the battle against tears. The princesses try to comfort her all the way back to the parking structure. None of them succeed.

♡

The rain has turned the ground of the construction site into a thick sludge, but Sora shoves his way through it. Donald and Goofy are at his sides, ready to catch him every time he stumbles. He appreciates the concern, but it really doesn’t make him feel like a badass hero about to stop a bad guy from doing something bad. Neither does the strong pain in his chest every time he breathes in or his splitting headache or the ringing in his hears.

 _God_ he hopes Ansem will just drop the keys and go home.

The clouds shift, moonlight shines down, and it bounces off the luminous silver hair of the man of the hour. Ansem is right at the gate, and there’s the telltale _click!_ of a lock coming open. Sora’s breath catches in his throat. He has to get him away from that gate _right now._

Sora cups his hands around his mouth and yells, “ _HEY ASSHOLE!_ ”

Ansem stops in his tracks.

He whirls around and glares at Sora; “I knew that fall was _survivable_ but I _assumed_ your friends would care enough about you to take you to a _hospital_. I see I was wrong.”

“Trust me, we wanted to,” Donald calls, but Goofy quickly shushes him.

Sora stomps forward through the mire, shouting with every step, “I’m not leaving without those keys! And I wanna know what you did to Riku!”

Ansem sneers, “I won’t take credit for Maleficent’s work. As for what she _did,_ all she did was find a scab and pick at it until it became a scar. She found a boy, desperate for a future, terrified of being left behind, caught off guard by a shift in paradigm and raw from a fight… It took no convincing at all to make him open his heart to darkness.”

Sora stops in his tracks, a brow raised; “Open his heart to _what?_ ”

Ansem grins and throws his arms out wide; “All things begin in darkness, and all so end. The human heart is no different. Darkness sprouts within it, it grows, consumes it, such is its nature. In the end, every heart returns to the darkness whence it came!”

Goofy leans over to Donald; “What is he–?”

Donald pushes Goofy away; “Shut up Goofy, I want to see where he’s going with this.”

Ansem reaches out with a grasping hand; “You see?! Darkness is the heart’s true essence!”

Goofy trudges forward so he can mutter in Sora’s ear, “… So did you get a word of that or–?”

Sora’s eyes light up and he lunges forward, proclaiming, “That’s not true! The heart may be weak, and sometimes, it may even give in! But I’ve learned that deep down… there’s a light that _never_ goes out!”

Ansem stares at him for a solid fifteen seconds before asking, “Was that a _The Smiths_ reference–?”

He’s cut off by Sora punching him in the jaw.

Ansem reels back and catches sight of Goofy coming in on his flank, hollering at the top of his lungs. He tries to move out of the way and draw the gun at the same time but on the muddy ground he nearly loses his footing, giving Goofy an opening to hit him with a double axe handle to the top of his head. Ansem bites his tongue and loses his grip on the gun, sending it flying out into the mud. Ironically, it disappears in the darkness. Ansem snarls deep in his throat and throws a punch for Goofy’s big stupid nose– it hits clean and Goofy staggers back, out of Ansem’s reach.

From Ansem’s _other_ flank comes a warbling war cry. He turns just in time to see Donald sprinting through the mud, leaping to tackle Ansem off his feet. He swerves out of the way and Donald lands face first in the mud, but now Sora has an opening to throw another hook, this time aiming for his core. Ansem knows Sora’s form now and ducks out of reach before throwing his own counterpunch, aiming for Sora’s eye. Sora ducks under it and goes to headbutt Ansem in the chest, but Ansem has the quicker and longer reach– he grabs Sora by the hair and slams his head into the mud.

Sora’s head smacks against the ground and he sees stars. Everything goes foggy for a second, and he has to remind himself why he’s here, who he’s fighting and who those guys helping him are.

Fuck. He _definitely_ has a concussion.

Ansem doesn’t have much time to literally rub Sora’s face in the mud before Donald hits him with a shoulder barge to the back. It knocks the wind right out of Ansem’s lungs and he goes sprawling in the mud. Just in time for Goofy to come running up and football punt him right in the head. The world spins, spots explode across his vision, and Ansem rolls a good yard away. He doesn’t have _time_ to be dazed. Ansem scrambles to his feet, slipping a few times in the mud, and sprints for the gate.

Goofy runs to Sora and picks him up by the elbow; “Sora, Ansem’s opening the gate! We gotta stop him!”

“Get those keys off him so we can lock it!” Donald shouts as he grabs Sora’s other arm and yanks him up.

Ansem isn’t paying attention to them, using all his strength to pull the massive doors open, muttering to himself, “I’m so close, I’m _so close_ , soon I’ll be there, and Kingdom Hearts will grant me the _darkness_ I seek–!”

Sora’s head snaps up; “You’re wrong! This is the happiest place on Earth! So I know that whatever Kingdom Hearts is…”

He sprints forward, grabs the back of Ansem’s head, and shouts, “KINGDOM HEARTS IS _LIGHT, BITCH_ ,” before slamming Ansem’s head as hard as he can into the door.

Ansem sees stars.

He collapses to the ground in a heap, and as Goofy and Donald run to try and push the doors shut Sora grabs the Kingdom Keys from Ansem’s jacket pocket. He darts in and pushes the door, but his feet slip in the mud, his hands slide against the rain, and he just really, _really_ wants to lie down–

“Keep going! We’ve got you on the other side!”

Sora’s eyes go wide and he looks through the gate. On one door is Riku, one pant leg awkwardly torn to reveal bandages on the leg beneath, hair awry, face white with pain and effort as he pulls as hard as he can. And on the other door… He’s tall. He’s quite large. He has very big ears, a large smile, is wearing red shorts and no shirt.

Mickey Goddamn Mouse exclaims, “Come on now, Sora! Let’s finish this together! Once the gate’s closed, lock it!”

Sora’s eyes dart between Mickey and Riku; “But you guys will be–!”

Riku smiles tightly; “We’ll be okay!”

Mickey lets out a laugh that sounds eerily like the real thing, at least to Sora’s concussed brain, “So long as you still have your ticket, you can meet us back inside,” he turns his face to Donald and Goofy and his voice goes soft, “Tony, Bill, thanks for everything.”

Riku meets Sora’s eyes; “Take care of Kairi.”

Sora considers… And nods.

The gate slams shut. Sora takes the keys in shaking hands, sticks the master key in the lock, and turns until he hears a _click!_

It’s done. It’s over. He just has to go back to the bus, and it’ll all be over.

Sora turns around, takes one step, and falls. He rolls onto his side to try and get a look at Donald and Goofy– both of them have slumped down against the gate, exhaustion finally winning the battle they’d been fighting against it.

Sora wants to sleep. But he can’t. Not yet. There’s something he has to do. It’s the only reason he came.

With a sluggish determination, Sora pulls out his phone and starts to dial.

♡

Kairi’s phone rings and she picks up immediately; “Hello?!”

There’s a pause, then Sora’s voice comes creeping through; “… Kairi…?”

Kairi’s heart leaps up into her throat; “Sora?! Is that you, where are you? Are you hurt?”

She hears some labored breaths from Sora before he mumbles, “I wanted… to ask you something while we were here…”

“What? What is it?”

“I really… like you… I have for a really long time, but I never… I was never brave enough to ask… Do you wanna be my girlfriend?”

Kairi can feel tears welling up and spilling over; “ _Yes,_ yes of course I want to be your girlfriend, I like you– I _love you_ , you _doofus!_ Now _where are you?!_ ”

No answer.

Kairi’s heart is racing; “Sora?! Sora stay with me, please, can you tell me anything?”

No answer.

“Sora please, just say something, anything, I can’t–!”

The line goes dead.

♡

The man in black pockets the phone and turns back to the scene. There are signs of a struggle, but whoever Sora’s opponent was, they disappeared long before he showed up. He reaches down and hoists Sora up, slinging him over one shoulder, then gestures to the cast members at the gate. Two more figures in black stroll up and grab them with ease.

“Let’s move,” he says, “We need to get back on schedule.”

They stalk away into the night.

♡

Ansem’s breath comes in hisses as he staggers down the street. He managed to make it all the way to the bridge over Disneyland Drive before he collapsed onto his knees. He sits with his back against the underpass wall, breathing through the pain. He’s still not used to pain sticking around like this, no matter how quick or dirty the fight. Fights like that used to be a _warmup._ But now he’s thirty.

He shuts his eyes. This is a _setback._ Maleficent’s blackmail scheme was always only Plan A. Plan B has people he trusts, more hands on deck, more contingencies. It’ll go fine. It’ll go _fine,_ and he’ll finish it by himself.

He _can_ do this by himself. He _has to_. That’s the only way to guarantee their safety.

There’s a sound on his peripheral, like the cry of a strangled animal that just keeps going. Ansem drags himself up the wall and glares across the street at its source. The Volkswagen bus once had something airbrushed on the side of it, but that was back in the seventies and time has eroded the artwork into pure abstraction. Two surfboards are strapped to the top and below the blaring of the horn Ansem can barely make out Neil Diamond’s voice crackling through ancient speakers.

More conspicuous than the van is the man driving it. His long hair is a jet black streaked with enough silver to let anyone know he bought this ancient van when it was new. His face is marred by an ugly scar going up across his cheek, and an eyepatch sits where his left eye should. Beneath the black, hooded jacket he’s wearing is a tank top with armholes entirely too large to be practical. And to call the grin he’s shooting his way “shit-eating” would be akin to calling the Mariana Trench “a hole in the ground”.

He calls through the noise, “Whatcha waiting for, Boss-man? Hop on in!”

Ansem hobbles across the street and throws himself through the passenger-side door. He can’t even think about putting on his seatbelt before his chauffeur slams his heel down on the gas and they go swerving out into the night. Ansem takes a deep breath and lets out a spluttering cough– he always forgets that the stale smell of weed, sweat and gun oil is something you have to adjust to slowly.

His chauffeur lets out a loud, guffawing laugh; “God damn, Boss, how off your game are you tonight?! Got your ass beat by _a kid!_ A _scrawny_ kid and a pair of guys who dress like animals for a living! Rest of the crew’s gonna love this!”

The Criminal Formerly Known as Ansem scowls, rearranging his hair in the rearview mirror; “The rest of the crew isn’t going to know, Xigbar. And if they do, they have no reason to care what happens to Ansem when _Xemnas_ is their leader.”

Xigbar just rolls his eye; “As fuckin’ if. Doesn’t matter what kind of hairstyle you’re wearing or what goofy voice you put on, Boss, it’s the same bones. You’re still Terra under all the bullshit.”

The Criminal Currently Known as Xemnas’ head whips around to level a glare that could curdle milk at Xigbar. Xigbar doesn’t flinch. His ability to grin and hum along to half-degraded tapes is constant as Gravity. Xemnas suspects that Xigbar will die doing just that. Xemnas also suspects that he’ll be the one to actually do the killing when he does, but maybe that’s more of a hope.

He grinds out through gritted teeth, “That boy has been dead for a decade.”

Xigbar shakes his head, clicking his tongue against his teeth; “Whatever helps you sleep at night. So, where to?”

“Keep us near the park,” Xemnas mutters, wrestling his phone out of his jacket, “Ideally we should be equidistant from it and where Marluxia has taken the boy. That dilapidated wreck is unlikely to hold Sora for long.”

Xigbar drums his fingers on the steering wheel and sings under his breath, “ _Girl if it lasts for an hour, that's all right, we got all night to set the world right, find us a dream that don't ask no questions, yeah…_ ”


End file.
